He’s Totally Gay

By Riah Roe
Contributing Writer

In today’s Will and Grace loving world, homosexuality has become fairly mainstream. Gone are the days where we can all pretend that gay people don’t exist and that it was probably some phase that had to do with the hippies of the 70’s. No, instead we have a society that had slowly but surely introduced gay men into the cultural dialogue. Terms like “Gaydar,” “flamer,” and “fag-hag” have all made their way into popular vernacular. Meanwhile, current political discourse looks positive for the gay rights movement. This entire new social acceptance has caused a boom in open and proud gay men who are “out” to the world.

Due to this new visibility, many people are open to discussing the sexuality of people they meet or know amongst themselves. Often times the phrase “He acts gay” gets thrown into the mix and it is that sentiment which strikes many as an interesting platform to discuss the intersection of gender and sexuality. An argument could be made that the “clues” to one’s sexuality are actually representations of their gender.

To many, someone is considered a homosexual if they engage in sexual activities or are sexually attracted to someone of the same sex. Now, more often than not the clues about sexuality are expressed in non-sexual ways. Speech, gestures and mannerisms, fashion and job types are all used to support accusations of gayhood. This raises the question as to why so many gay men are effeminate.

The answer may lie in a common phrase used in the gay community. “Straight acting” is the phrase used to describe masculine gay men. This phrase reveals quite a bit about the way gender and sexuality are perceived by mainstream society. If one is straight and male they should act masculine. If they are gay and male, they should act effeminate. Effeminacy is perceived as a cue of gay-hood.

The reason for this might be caused by the strict boxes that we put on gender. “Real men” need to be macho, sleep with a lot of women, and eat meat. Whereas “real women” need to be femmy, submissive to men, and fashionistas. The mere fact that gay men are attracted to men means that they aren’t out-dominating women like cavemen. This throws a kink in our cultures conceptualization of masculinity. Is it possible then that this gender-blur makes gay men socialized to be more feminine because they are violating one of the core concepts of masculinity?

I feel that this could be one part of the explanation for the stereotype that many gay men are subject to. There are of course plenty of masculine gay men that don’t fit the stereotype, but I would argue that unfair stereotypes are the main issues. Maybe the issue here is that we have a strict binary where a person can be one or the other. With such a rigid line of what is male and what is female there is of course going to be conflict in situations like this. Some may argue the line is not so clear but let’s be serious they call it the “opposite sex” implying that what is not masculine is feminine and vice-versa.

Straight culture has a huge hold on the way gay culture is constructed over time and the model that heterosexuality is ideal may play a huge role in gender behaviors that men portray in our society. These behaviors are often reflected back to us in our media which causes new socialization patterns to begin. To finish, I would like to quote Dorothy Parker, “Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.”
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