Rubber Chicken: PETA Sues US Airways and Pilot

On Monday, PETA filed animal cruelty charges against US Airways pilot Chesley Sullenberger and US Airways.

The suit was filed after PETA learned that some of the nation’s busiest airports will begin experimental testing of a radar system designed to track and kill flocks of birds. These radar devices are rumored to help pilots avoid the type of collision believed to have crashed US Airways flight 1549 into the Hudson River, killing no less than four Canadian geese.

After it was discovered that the radar was to be used for selfish people purposes, PETA decided to take action. Helen Curan, Southeast North Dakota spokeswoman for PETA, explained that animals, including birds, have a “Bill of Rights” much like ours.

She explained that “Animals are not for us to eat, they are not for us to experiment on, they are not ours to be entertained by, and they certainly are not ours to abuse.” Ms. Curan, along with the four dozen other PETA members picketing at NDSU’s campus post office, chanted “birds aren’t turds,” meaning birds have rights also.

The suit, filed early yesterday morning, sights numerous animal rights violations on the part of the pilot and US Airways. According to Gloria Alfred, attorney for PETA, “there could be millions at stake in this lawsuit, the first ever of its kind.” Ms. Alfred also stated that “if the radar was to be used for the benefit of the birds, be used by the birds and approved by the birds, this lawsuit would not be going forward.”

Ben Taylor, public relations mediator for US Airways, claims this suit has “no merit, because if it did, everyone that ran over a squirrel, bird, skunk or deer would be facing lawsuits and jail time.” Taylor also noted that “geese are only good for pillows, and as far as consuming them goes—unless they are prepared correctly—they sometimes taste gamey.”

Luis Usda, head of the FAA Wildlife Hazard Management, commented via email that he has his suspicions that “this is a sick distraction to get the heat off of the Illinois governor, who coincidentally happens to be a charter member of PETA and has a nest full of baby spotted owls living in his hair.”