So You’re Interested in Trying Stand-Up …

By Adam Quesnell
Contributing Writer

Disclaimer: I have been doing stand-up for about 2.5 years, so I know very little to nothing about it. Comedians have their own unique experiences when performing. This goes double for a comedian’s first time on a comedy stage. By double, I mean it is double-unique. Which makes perfect sense to me. So, potential first-time open microphone performers, take the advice in this column with a grain of salt while you devour it like it is the only thing that has ever mattered.

Approximately two weeks ago I was prepping to host the open comedy show at the Red Raven Espresso Parlor. About 30 minutes before the start of the show, a gentlemen, more of a dude actually, who looked to be in his late-twenties or early-thirties approached me about performing on the show. That exchange went something like this:

DUDE: Is this where you do the comedy?
ME: Sure is, Dude. You want to get on the list?
DUDE: How does it work?
ME: Well, I put you on the list. We do a run down of the order at the top of the show, but it looks like you will be fourth or fifth. We also say who is on deck before each comic to remind the next comic to be waiting to go up. I call you up on stage, and you do whatever material or jokes you have to perform (they need to be your own jokes too, by the way). You will get five minutes of stage time, and when you have been on stage for four minutes I will flash a light from right here, and you can just nod or whatever to let me know that you saw it, and then you kind of finish up your last minute and hop offstage. I will get the audience revved up by telling them it is your first time (the Red Raven is great to first time comics). I know that’s kind of a lot, but do you have any questions?
DUDE: … you mean … I can’t just go up there and do it, like, right now? [keep in mind that all of the lights are on, the audience is still coming in, people are getting coffee etc … ]
ME: Nope. We bring the lights down and I do a short set to get the audience warmed up. It will be a good time dude, I’m glad you decided to come out and try it. The show will start in about 30 minutes.
DUDE: Yeah … [He looks confused … and maybe a bit agitated. He walks away to apparently go browse the affordably priced, high quality, used books that are sold at the Red Raven]
[FIVE MINUTES PASS. Dude comes back over to me with a curiously impatient look on his face]
DUDE: Look, this isn’t really up to my speed right now, I gotta go.

Before I could get out my trademark, “Right on,” he was gone. I had been excited to find out what kind of jokes that dude planned to tell. Now, perhaps, I will never find out. I am not “dissing” this fellow (do the kids still say that, “dissing”?), because I understand that the decision to get on stage for the first time can be an intimidating one to make. However, I did find it interesting, and by “interesting” I mean “hilarious,” that this fellow’s impression of stand-up was: Get on stage in a well lit room while people sit down and order drinks. Don’t get me wrong; oftentimes comedy is exactly that.

I don’t remember much about my first performance except that I had fun and I wished there were more places to do stand-up in the area. Well, past version of myself, now there are more places to do that … that being stand-up, but I’m sure you followed that … that being what I was just typing about. There are open stages at Courtney’s Comedy Club throughout the Fall and Spring and every Tuesday night at the Red Raven Espresso parlor. With this in my mind, I have prepared the following cheat sheet for first time comics who might be coming out to perform.

1. Find the person running the show and get on the “List” (list of comics performing). The list is usually surrounded by people who appear to have given up on life … these are the other comics. Befriend them.

2. Before going to an open mic, watch some stand-up, or some more stand-up, to get an idea of how people look on stage, etc. … Keep in mind while doing this research that any joke you tell on stage must be a joke that you write or someone you know writes for you. It can’t be the material of another comic. So think about the jokes you want to tell. Or the topics you want to talk about. You can certainly take notes with you on stage to help you get through your set. Many comics, even professionals, use notes at open mics because they are working on new material.

3. Remember that comedy is supposed to be fun. For your first time, if you are having fun, the audience will probably have some fun too. I know this sounds A: Obvious and B: Kind of cheesy, but even if you have stage fright, keep in mind that you are doing something silly and crazy and fun. You don’t need to kill the audience because you are just investigating your ability to do this without vomiting. If you get some good laughs in the meantime, Huzzah!

4. Finally, respect the light. When you get the light, which means you need to start wrapping up your set. Wrap it up. It is better to go short than long. Also, don’t feel the need to fill every second of your time. If the crowd cracks open and wets themselves four minutes into your act, and you don’t know if your last joke can follow it, just tell the audience you’re done, and jump off the stage victorious.

I hope these tips are helpful to people who are interested in trying stand-up for the first time. I encourage anyone who is interested to come out and give it a go. If you aren’t interested in performing, then you just read something that was probably fairly irrelevant to you. Either I am a master of deception, or you are bad at interpreting the meaning of titles.

Adam Quesnell is a stand-up comedian and writer working out of Moorhead, MN. Send feedback to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address), follow him on twitter at twitter.com/adamquesnell or visit http://www.adamquesnell.com