The Lucky Number: “13: A New Musical”

By Roland Finger
Staff Writer

Is this a bad luck number because it’s the age when kids become teens? Playwright Jason Robert Brown’s “13: A New Musical” appeals to middle and high schoolers, but also offers adults a trip down memory lane, focusing on first kisses, crushes, parental divorce, thirteenth birthdays, popularity, and bosom buddies. I’m not sure how I feel about the use of “New” in the play’s title. Will that still be the play’s title in ten years? Is this play so fresh that it will always be new? Is new part of Brown’s sales pitch? I forgive Brown because I think he wants to emphasize that the play fits the hour. The musical could also be called something like: How French kisses taught me about my real friends and puppy love.

Our protagonist and window into the play, Evan Goldman, has been preparing for his Bar Mitzvah in New York, but his parents split up, and his mother moves him to Appleton, Indiana. It’s a major disruption for Evan, a popular kid whose friends in New York were ready to help him celebrate his upcoming Bar Mitzvah. But now he’s in the midwest, where most kids don’t know a Bar Mitzvah from a matzoh ball. These kids mainly know about football games, the mall, and Dairy Queen.

Evan’s a kid in limbo, but he’s met a nice girl, Patrice, and finished up his summer with her. They are not officially dating, but they are close. Patrice touchingly sings about how, because of Evan, “The lamest place in the world just got a little bit better.” They go to Dan Quayle Junior High, a name synonymous with mediocrity.

Then comes the rude awakening. The popular crowd at school loathes Patrice and says that they won’t attend Evan’s Bar Mitzvah if she does. Evan makes his choice, tearing up the invitation for Patrice in front of everyone. Evan believes he has a chance to become popular at the new school because the star athlete Brett pays attention to him, embracing his advice on how to pull off a “tongue kiss” with Kendra. Instead of using the term French kiss, the kids chant that Brett is “going to do the tongue with Kendra.” Brett’s friends sing that he’s going to get “all up in Kendra’s business,” but they don’t seem to be aware of the innuendo. They are merely repeating, not understanding, clichéd phrases they have gathered from pop music. And interestingly, Brett doesn’t seem aware of what might come after French kissing. The play manages to be innocent and naïve about what junior high kids know, while also realistically exploring their social lives.

The play resuscitates and jolts some major stereotypes: the jock, the brain, the nerd, the good girl, the bad girl. Lucy is the bad girl who doesn’t like playing second-fiddle to the most popular girl at school, Kendra, but Lucy also happens to be Kendra’s so-called best friend. Lucy has some Iago moments, except her motives are always quite apparent. Lucy wants to have Brett for herself. She is devious and wicked, willing to use her brains for purely selfish purposes, and she may even steal the show. During a strong symbolic moment, Kendra is doing some back-flips, but Lucy causes Kendra to fall and pass out, none the wiser about the betrayal.

Evan recommends that Brett take Kendra to the new R-rated horror movie, Bloodmaster, where she will surely cuddle against him. But Lucy and Archie complicate matters. Archie, a smart nerdy kid who suffers from a life-threatening neuromuscular disorder, also plans to kiss Lucy at the movie. Archie is able to finagle a seat next to Kendra by pressuring Evan, who really is the victim of adolescent blackmail. Archie knows that it will be impossible for Evan “to deny a dying person his last wish.” Evan sings a snappy and funny number about how dying kids can get away with almost anything because of the power of guilt; this aspect of the play is even more Jewish than the Bar Mitzvah.

During the movie scene, we hear that someone has his eyelids ripped off and someone else had his penis lit on fire. It’s prurient, sensational horror, perfect material to excite a pubescent audience. Archie and Brett accidentally kiss each other instead of Kendra, causing brief chaos in which Lucy gets to have her way, pulling moves on Brett while he’s confused, giving him more tongue than his limited mental capacity can process. In fact, she seems to hypnotize Brett with her cobra-like tongue.

Lucy eventually loses her new beau, Brett, because she has been manipulating him too much, running him ragged, “tongue whipping” him constantly. When Brett mentions that he would like to hang out with his friends, Lucy shuts him up by asking: “Are you saying that I’m fat?” Evan suggests how Brett can win Kendra back, and he does briefly. Infuriated, Lucy starts a rumor that Kendra is seeing Evan on the side, leading Brett to punch Evan out, which also brings Brett back to Lucy’s waiting arms. Lucy is a wicked mastermind.

Director Rebecca Meyer-Larson did a wonderful job bringing us a fast-paced musical. The projections from various Facebook pages provide clever segues between scenes, particularly the one mentioning that “Lucy has found her Edward Cullen.” The set also has some nice touches, including a urinal and a tampon dispenser. The cast and crew have definitely done their homework.

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If You Go

What: “13: A New Musical”
Where: FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo
When: August 4, 5, 6, & 7 at 7:30 & August 5 at 2:00
Info: 701-235-6778