Photo by Josh Steiner

Buffalo Breasts With the Hair of an Angel

By Josh Steiner
Contributing Writer

Welcome modest readers to the food porn part of the paper wherein I reside. Today we will philosophize, rub some breasts, get sauced and put our hair in the cheese.

Pancakes… football… boobies… pork rinds… waffles… Like the poet philosopher Homer Simpson once surmised during his ranting slumber:  food, football and sex (not necessarily in that order) are among some of the things that men dream of while sleep-eating their pillow.  In fact, in the male mind the very word ‘football’ conjures up images of tailgating, pizza, cheerleaders, hot wings and burgers. In other words, bar food.

Like many of you, my traditional American celebration of the Super Bowl includes pizza, hot-wings or BBQ’d anything as long as I don’t have to make it. However, this year I’m going to give my patient wife a break from “dormesque” Super Bowl food by elevating Super Bowl flavors into grown-up food, Buffalo chicken breasts served with angel hair pasta tossed in a bleu cheese sauce.  Here’s how you can too.

Begin by heating salted water for your pasta on high in a large pot.  Next, take 2 Tablespoons butter in a pan and heat to medium, add 2 stalks diced celery, 2 stalks diced carrot, and ½ minced onion.  Cook together until they begin to soften but still have a bit of fresh crisp left in the carrots. Then add 2 Tablespoons flour and mix together. Cook for 3 minutes before adding ¼ teaspoon salt, 2 cups 2% milk (heavy cream if you really like it rich), then reduce heat to slow and low and cook until thickened. 

Now, let’s talk cheese. I like bleu cheese but I don’t want to overwhelm my palate with the pungent bleu, so I used 2 oz bleu cheese, and 2 oz goat cheese. If you like really sharp bleu flavors, go with 4 oz. bleu. On the other hand, if you don’t like bleu cheese, use all goat cheese. Just don’t forget to add the cheese with the pan off of the heat! Simmer on low and finish with a dash o’ nutmeg. If the consistency gets too thick, add la ittle bit of the pasta water to thin it out.

Now to rub the breasts. Four chicken breasts liberally rubbed with your favorite rub, poultry seasoning, or use a Buffalo wing seasoning recipe like the one on my blog at http://www.thepeoplespressproject.org. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees and heat a swirl or two of olive oil in a skillet to medium. Make sure you are using a skillet with a metal handle. Once your skillet is good and hot, cook each side of your chicken breast for 2-3 minutes—165-170 degrees is what you are looking for. Not there yet? That’s okay.

Liberally spoon Buffalo sauce (my recipe is at http://www.thepeoplespressproject.org) over your chicken breasts, and place your metal-handled pan in the oven 2-3 minutes. Remove, plate, garnish with a couple spoonfuls of additional buffalo sauce and rest it while you heat the angel hair (or whatever pasta you feel like using) according to package instruction.

When the pasta is done, it’s ready to drop in your sauce. Hit the sauce with a little bit of the pasta water, then stir in some buffalo sauce for an added vinegary bite. Remove the pasta, plate, and garnish with buffalo sauce… Done.

I hope that I’ve motivated you to try it; all the elements of Buffalo wings are there—a good rub, Buffalo sauce, celery, carrots, and bleu cheese. However, this elevated version can be eaten with a fork and knife, like grown folks sometimes do.

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[Editors Note: Joshua Steiner is a food obsessed individual who has worked in restaurants and kitchens for most of his life and held just about every conceivable job in the industry. Now he’s bringing his tips, tricks and travels to The High Plains Reader and http://thepeoplespressproject.org for you to use in YOUR kitchen.]