Duane’s Pizza:  God Is in the Pigtails

My brain took a rest and hasn’t gotten back up. Some days I feel as if my head has died and forgotten about me, in this body, with a perpetual runny nose because I’m allergic to everything, the abstract included. My brain is slowing down, changing, thinking differently. Maybe I’m not slowing down, I’m just maturing, and those flowers I’ve only seen as streaks of light are starting to take shape. I’m frightened of things that can be seen. They tend to be smug about their concreteness. I prefer ether and Duane’s Pizza.

Me and my friends went into Duane’s at the end of the dinner rush. They had one waitress who was running for her life but with a calm smile. She was attentive and earned her tip. The pigtails helped. That’s a hard look to pull off but the working woman angle sold the look.

Duane’s is a no frills place. They have a simple interior with a vague country kitsch interior. Classic country would have been just as at home as the television with Bison basketball that was in a corner. The menu is simple. The pizza boxes are simple. Even the kitchen is simple. Duane’s is a solid rock amongst tiny international pebbles that litter its feet. Pizza bags instead of boxes, that’s identity.

They have the regular sizes of pizzas and six specialty pizzas. Their ingredients are the usual fare, except they also offer salami, shrimp, and sauerkraut. I want to shake the hand of anyone who eats sauerkraut on their pizza. Wow. They serve Jojo fries, which are deep fried seasoned fries, regular fries, the usual assortment of drinks, flavor crisp chicken in different size buckets, garlic bread, and if you dine in, they have a small salad bar with soup.

I and my friends had the Chef’s Special pizza, cheesy garlic bread, and Jojo fries. Sour cream and ketchup were brought out for the fries. We made quick work of the appetizers. We wanted the pizza and when it was brought out to us, our waitress was like an angelic goddess bathed in white light, the pizza in her hand held high, noble and true. We made equally quick work of the pizza.

The Chef’s Special came with Italian Sausage, onions, mushrooms, and green peppers. The sausage was large and actually resembled meat, as opposed to the rabbit turds that better-known establishments serve on their pizzas. The pizza was famously thin with a crust that was a healthy mix of chewy and crunchy with a light dusting of flour.

We left happy and full. Duane’s, as well as their downtown rival, are icons in the Fargo area and whenever I eat at either one, I am literally feasting on the flesh of Fargo, and this time it never tasted so good.

Total bill: $9 per person, including tip.

DETAILS:

WHAT: Duane’s House of Pizza
WHERE: 1629 S University, Fargo;
2223 Center Ave, Moorhead
WHEN: Fargo, 11am-midnight, 7 days a week;
Moorhead, Mon-Sat 11am-midnight, Sun 5pm-midnight
INFO: 701-232-8909, 218-236-0550