In Some Universe, HuHot Was Voted “Best Vegetarian Food”

By Jeni Hill
Staff Writer

My Life in Mongolian BBQ in a Nutshell

My brief history in Mongolian barbecue includes several visits to Khan’s Mongolian Barbeque in Roseville, MN and one visit to BD’s Mongolian Grill in Burnsville, MN. My old friend and I would catch up at Khan’s where I rather enjoyed myself.

When comparing Khans vs. BD’s, I prefer Khan’s, despite the fact that BD’s ingredients seemed fresher. I enjoy the flavor of Khan’s deconstructed sauces more than BD’s pre-made sauces, and feel my dish was under-stir fried at BD’s. At Khan’s, we received complimentary appetizers of a fried wonton skin, a surprisingly delicious chicken wing, and always dismal hot and sour soup. After a meal at Khan’s, we munched on steamed bread filled with a sweet, syrupy substance and sesame seeds. BD’s offers appetizers and desserts that can be ordered in addition to the main meal and I thought their potstickers were tasty.

One tired evening a couple of weeks ago, Jake wanted to try HuHot Mongolian Grill. He had never tried Mongolian barbecue and his coworkers recommended HuHot, a Mongolian barbecue chain that seems to be more common in rural areas outside of the Twin Cities. Readers of The Inforum, Fargo Moorhead’s major newspaper publication, voted HuHot as offering the “Best Vegetarian Food” in the Best of 2011 poll. For the third time.

Based upon some previous knowledge and brief internet research, it seems Mongolian barbecue has little to do with authentic Mongolian cuisine. And by “little,” I mean nothing.

So on a weeknight, Jake and I headed towards HuHot in Fargo, marked by their angry, slanty-eyed (or slanty-eyebrowed), Mongolian man mascot.

Once seated, we ordered beverages and were offered a choice between an Asian salad and egg drop soup. While we waited for our egg drop soup, we set off to explore “The Food Bar” where we filled our bowls with meats, vegetables, and sauces.

The Protein and Noodle Bar
The first Food Bar contained thin, thawing slices of frozen meats such as beef, pork, and chicken. I did not notice or taste lamb, even though mutton is commonly eaten in the real country of Mongolia.

Seafood options included fake crab (which is rendered disgusting once cooked), calamari, whiting fish, and small cooked shrimp that floated in a bin of cloudy water. Even I could not make myself add these shrimp to my bowl of food.

At the end of the first bar were bins of thin egg noodles, fettuccine-sized noodles, and rice noodles. For easier stacking, add noodles to the top of your bowl for easier ingredient stacking.

The Vegetable Bar
The second bar contained the standard Mongolian barbecue variety of vegetables and canned pineapple. The veggies seemed fresh enough, except for some questionable sliced mushrooms.

The Sauce Bar
HuHot’s sauce offerings are like a hybrid of Khan’s and BD’s. Not only does HuHot offer prepared sauces such as “Five Village Fire Szechuan,” “Burn Your Village BBQ,” and “Pillagers Red Curry” but flavorings such as ginger water, chili oil, sesame oil, and garlic.

I added copious ladles of sauces together, leaning heavily on those described as spicy. Then, Jake and I took our bowls to the giant hot skillet and handed them to young men with large sticks.

What Followed Next
After a pile of stir fry was finished, the employees would scrape the food into the bowl and hand it back to the customer.

Before the next meal was placed on the hot skillet, the space was squirted down with water and scraped, with a flourish, into the draining trough located in the center of the circular cooking surface. As the employees scraped down the cooking surface, the squirted water, mixed with crusty food and other diner’s stir fry juices, was forcefully pushed towards the center hole, with large splashes. This “cleansing” occurred while meals cooked on both sides of the scraped, squirted, and splashed griddle site.

I would normally not be too squeamish about such a process, but the liquid splash-age was so intense that it bordered on gross. If I remember correctly, this process was less obvious at the other chains of Mongolian barbecues where employees periodically cleansed the cooking surface in between cooking meals, instead of splish splashing along while customers’ meals still cooked.

Jake was thoroughly repulsed and refuses to return.

The stir fry itself tasted fine, but nothing was craveworthy or enticing enough to warrant a second visit. My sauce mixtures were tasty and spicy enough to be interesting, but the thin slices of meat were rendered dry and jerky-like and the fish was somewhere between edible and the sentiment of “I don’t want to go back for more.”

At some point during our meal, we received an overly-cornstarched egg drop soup that was, simply said, just not tasty. Jake had somehow never tried eggdrop soup and also abandoned it after a couple of slurps.

On a final note, the bathroom air freshener was especially fragrant that evening, and I was happy we were seated far enough away from the bathroom hallway to avoid the smell. Also, the floor around the sauce bar was oily and slick with spillage, an cleanliness observation that did not seem to be an issue at the other Mongolian barbecue chains. Feel free to concur or disagree with my comparisons.

Somehow and some way, this establishment was thrice given the “Best Vegetarian Food” title by readers of the local, major newspaper. Vegetarians that don’t mind their stir fries basted and bathed in their fellow diners’ meat juices and burnt meat crust mixed with water.

I find this puzzling, considering The Green Market offers Spoonriver-quality vegetarian fare for a similar cost.

If I were a vegetarian, I’d seek out other options. And since I’m not a vegetarian, I’ll seek out other options.

But to each, his or her own?

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[Editor’s Note: For more food wisdom from Jeni Hill, follow her blog ‘An Herbalist Eats’ at http://herbalisteats.blogspot.com/ ]

IF YOU GO

WHAT: HuHot Mongolian Grill
WHERE: 1801 45th St. S. ; Fargo