Seeing Past Wine Label Gimmicks

The other day I was introduced to a new line of wines from Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier. Now I don’t want to offend anybody if you are part of the crazy masses that have made this brand what it is today, but typically this would not be a brand at the top of my list. That being said, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality waiting inside this tattooed bottle. This got me to pondering some of the different marketing techniques companies use to sell wine. In this day and age, it is not just what is in the bottle that makes a wine sell and sometimes has absolutely nothing to do with it. Trendy brands and famous people alike are using their names to sell wine, which for some attracts while for others repels.

First off, the Ed Hardy wines. When I was first approached about them I rolled my eyes and assumed that they would suck. But knowing full well that the label alone would be enough to sell these wines, I thought I might as well try them. I sampled a Cabernet, Chardonnay, and Rose from France, and a Pinot Grigio from Italy. I liked the fact that they kept the varietals with the countries that do them best. The Rose was by far my favorite, since French Rose is something of a passion for me and also incredibly hard to find a variety of in Fargo. Of a drier nature with only a hint of sweetness while still maintaining the red grape varietal characteristics, I found this wine more than acceptable for a pleasant night out back on my patio. The Pinot Grigio stayed pretty true to its fruity and fresh nature and definitely showed its Italian distinctiveness. At around $10-$12, these wines are not only decent but will also show your friends that you are hip to the latest fashions.

It always makes me a little leery when famous people think they should make wine. My one big exception to this is Francis Ford Coppola. I may be a bit biased since this was the first winery I ever had the pleasure to visit. Especially interesting to me are his Director’s Cut wines. The labels are cool because of the zoetrope film reels cascading around the bottles. A zoetrope is a cylindrical movie making device which takes a static picture and creates the impression that it is moving. So, I guess if you spin the bottle very fast you’ll have yourself a tiny little movie to go along with your wine.

These 19th century replicas are from Coppola’s personal collection in his museum at the winery, displayed alongside Don Corleone’s desk and Robert Duvall’s surfboard from Apocalypse Now. I love these wines, which to me demonstrate an appropriate and classy use of someone’s name to market a quality product. The 100% Alexander Valley Cabernet is my favorite. The dark cherry and currant flavors are intense and the pureness of the varietal makes this wine rich and delicious. At around $23-$26 this in not exactly inexpensive, but in comparison to many of the Cabernets from this area it is nicely priced. The Chardonnay from Russian River is of equal quality and priced at around $19-$22.

Another interesting phenomenon in wine marketing is the use of obnoxious names. One popular wine of this sort is the Sweet Bitch Merlot which makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. The laughter comes from the profane title and dreams of friends I could give this to. The cringing comes from the words “sweet” and “Merlot” on the same label leading me to admit that I have not tried this wine but have heard good things from people who have.

On a similar note, Fat Bastard Winery, despite the bawdy title makes some pretty tasty and high quality French wines. Produced by a well known winemaker by the name of Thierry Boudinard, the name in this case was originally used by his friend to illustrate the big bold flavors these wines evoked. These are wines you will buy once for the label and then for the quality of what’s inside. Both of these lewd titled wines retail for around $10- $12 which makes them an ideal gift for that woman or man in your life whom you want to insult and get drunk at the same time.

Just because I am in love with dogs, my own dog Maia in particular, doesn’t mean I am interested in buying wine with a dog on the label. The same thing holds true for kangaroos, penguins and swans. The Australians are particularly fond of these wines, but others do it too. These “critter wines” as they have come to be called often disguise a less than stellar product in the bottle. One exception to this theory sports a cute little dancing monkey on the label. For the longest time I hesitated to try this wine because of the label alone. When I finally did, I was happy to discover that Monkey Bay Sauvignon Blanc out of New Zealand possesses all of the grapefruity, citrusy characteristics that make me love this style of wine. At $10-$12 this inexpensive little treasure made the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” pop right into my brain.

There are a million examples of wines that use gimmicks, famous people, etc. to sell wine, often coming across as cheesy and unsophisticated. Where some might specifically buy wine for the “cute” labels there are many others that shy away from wines for this reason alone. While flashy labels and names can add a little fun to wine drinking, they can also take away some of the classiness that people often associate with this pastime. Whatever your train of thought on this matter might be, I have realized that it is important to keep an open mind so as not to accidentally pass over a precious gem hidden amongst some tacky costume jewelry. Over the top, yes, but you get the picture.

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