What You Have to Say on the Issue

OK, we did it: a full day of sun last Sunday, no complaints at all here. This week I wanted to share with you two of the emails I received in response to the couple of articles I wrote on last month. I really appreciate the time that you took to answer my question, and I truly believe it deserves to be shared every once in a while. The first one is in response to the question “what is protocol?” The second about favorite ice cream places.

Protocol:

Hello Deb,

I read your April 30 column in which you wrote about the less-than-polite man who stole your table and claimed there was a “protocol” he was following or that you should be following.

In the first place, that man does not really understand the meanings of the word protocol and was twisting one of its common meanings to suit his own purposes. He just wanted an excuse to control. I am sure as well that when he came in and looked at the line, he knew quite well whose purse, etc. that was, and that may even have been why he acted in the boorish way he did. I hate to say that, but yes, we do have them even in Fargo.

There are a number of meanings to the word “protocol,” some general ones and a number of specific ones. The specific ones have to do with 1) computers and computer programming, 2) research, especially in the social sciences, but also in other research, and 3) a set of survey or interview questions and procedures. Another set of meanings refer to 4) processes or steps to be taken in product design and development. These includes lists or specifications the attributes, features, and benefits a product must have, and are the result of business and manufacturer consultation and marketing research, etc. Other definitions refer to agreed upon steps or procedures for making, building, or accomplishing something.

Most uses are somewhat more general.

At its most basic level, and the meaning from which all others are derived, a protocol is a generally agreed upon unwritten set of rules or “scripts” or guidelines peculiar to a culture or organization. These are widely known and observed by all parties within the culture or organization, in conducting business, entertaining, negotiating, politics, courtesy, conversing, etc. This is the definition that fellow was twisting, for there is no such protocol as he suggests for dining at a line-serve restaurant, quite the opposite.

Furthermore, it is common for people to reserve tables by leaving their belongings or a tipped chair or some other indicator. If there is a protocol, it is that when such an indicator of someone reserving a table or seat is present, another person passes that seat by, and if there is a shortage of seats or some reason the newcomer needs that particular place, the accepted protocol is to inquire politely if the seat is taken and if the newcomer could possibly occupy it, giving a reason for wanting to pre-empt the person who reserved the seat in the first place.

At an informal restaurant or fast food place, it is also acceptable; when other tables are mostly full, to ask whether one could share the table. “May I sit here with you?” At a more formal place, it is more proper for house staff, for example the hostess, maitre d’ or manager, to make the inquiry on the newcomer’s behalf. That way the original customer doesn’t have to say no directly to the other person.

All of these would be within the cultural “script”—or as the man says, “protocol.” But it is simply rude, impolite, unacceptable, and boorish to take over the place. It was wrong, and I believe, personally, that he knew it. Either he is simply selfish, or he is worse. There are some people who like to victimize others even in small matters, whenever they find the opportunity.

If I had been there and that $#*@ had tried that stunt, he would have received such a glare from me that he would have gotten up immediately and left.

You need to learn how to glare like that. Protocol indeed!

Ice Cream:

Deb,

You forgot to mention my favorite ice cream parlor—and it is less expensive than Charlie’s, too.

It is the Ice Cream, Inc. store on University, located behind the Gate City Bank around 15th avenue. They may not have 32 flavors, but it is close to that. There is also a place that sells Blue Bunny ice cream—I can’t tell you exactly where it is, but have been there, and recently saw an ad for them.

And finally, the M&H in Moorhead has Blue Bunny ice cream, but only 6 or 8 flavors, and they only sell cones.

Someone just told me there are two good places in West Fargo as well, but I haven’t any information on those.

So, there you have it, nice to see what other people have to say on my column. Next week I am excited to write about Kobe’s a new restaurant in town. All I can say is YUM! Until next week, stay safe and eat well. Any questions or concerns, email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)