Wine on the Fly

I have so many different people ask how I am able to write a column about wine on a weekly basis. The reality is, I don’t. The wonderful editors from the High Plains Reader let me have a bit of wiggle room and I get to write about a number of related subjects. I write about liquor as well and associated subjects.

The current object of my obsession, however, as an instructor, writer, and graduate student is not only wine but food. As a result I’ve been reading numerous books about fine dining and life in the fine dining service industry.

“Heat,” by Bill Buford offers insight into Mario Batali (a man known to have drunk over ten bottles of wine in one night--one can only imagine how much food was consumed with that).

Another book, by Phoebe Damrosch, “Service Included,” talked about the front of the house--i.e. the servers and bar staff. As a former employee of a couple of such establishments, I could readily identify.

When you are in the industry and serving people who enjoy fine food and wine, you need to know your product. It’s just like any other industry, but you must know this information and be ready to act on it on the fly.

If you don’t know what the specifics are of a dish, you have to run to the chef and ask, risking life and limb if his kitchen is in the weeds--or even if it isn’t.
If you need to recommend a wine, you need to know the cellar, what the customer likes, and you also need to be aware of what is available in house. Run back and forth from a table with bad news that a wine they wanted isn’t available a couple of times and you’ll see the faces of your customers first fall, and then express disgust.

The customers that give you the worst reviews (and tips) are those that feel you didn’t know what you were doing--and this unavoidably involves knowing the wine as well as the food. But if you do know the menu as well as your cellar, you often become the diner’s best friend.

So what are the service industry personnel’s favorite tricks? Much the same as any other professional--if they don’t know the answer, they BS you until you think you have the answer you want.

Say you’re asked, “What is the fish tonight?” And, heaven forbid, you don’t remember what the actual fish is--but you remember the preparation. If you’ve worked at a place long enough, you know what sauces and sides the chef usually pairs and you can wing it. Any mistakes, “you didn’t realize that they’d switched out the special entree” or just admit to your mistake.

Don’t have a wine the customer ordered? (usually this happens when you’ve just been successful at upselling a bottle)--explain that you’ve been talking about the wine all night and didn’t realize how low the supply was or offer up a second selection at the table right away so that when one is out, you have backup. Enough secrets, not to sound cryptic but, I have friends who would rather I don’t share any more insider information.

The other thing that has happened, as a result of my research, is that I’ve been considering how and why I spend money on wine. When I first began to buy wine, I would look at labels and buy it based on how attractive I thought the label was.

As I became more familiar with labels and varietals, I became pickier and only bought those wines that had high ratings or that had been recommended to me.
Though at times I do still buy wine based on ratings, I have become obsessed with labels and what they might tell you about a wine (rather than just being pretty).

A bottle of wine with a worn looking label with a gothic font is usually French or Italian. Pastel colors and retro art usually signifies a cheaper bottle--but not necessarily a bad bottle of wine.

Quirky or “punny” names usually signify that it’s from Australia or an upstart company that “features fun and flavor” according to the spiel on the back.
And finally, the plain, dark label seems to be turning into a thing of the past, but when it is found, it’s usually an import from an Croatia, Greece, the Southern Hemisphere or Portugal.

Have I found any consistency between a label’s look and the quality of the wine? I honestly cannot say. But one thing I do know--I’m going to continue sampling new and unusual wines--pretty label or not. As always, be safe and enjoy.