An Enjoyable Evening Featuring Brains, Blood, and Beer

By: Krista Thom

Fargo’s 4th annual Zombie Pub Crawl will be held this Saturday, starting at 3p.m. Use the following quiz to determine whether this event is right for you.

1. Your walk is best described as:
a) a glide
b) a march
c) a stagger

2. How many syllables are in the word “brains”?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 3-6, depending on enunciation

3. On the whole, you think fake blood is:
a) gross.
b) only acceptable on Halloween.
c) the new black.

4. It’s time for a snack. You go to the kitchen and select:
a) a granola bar.
b) whatever’s leftover in the fridge.
c) brains.

5. Oatmeal:
a) is part of a complete breakfast.
b) can be tolerated in cookie form.
c) looks really cool when combined with food coloring and turned into rotten flesh.

If you answered “c” to most of these questions, you are socially obligated to attend the Fargo Zombie Pub Crawl. (If, on the other hand, you answered “a” to most of these questions, you probably shouldn’t leave the house.)

In only three years, the Zombie Pub Crawl has become one of Fargo’s most popular costume events. Although exact numbers are hard to come by, last year’s crawl included about 700 zombies. Crystal Aakre, who from the beginning has been one of the main organizers, said she was surprised by the response, especially for the first year.

“The first year, we just made a poster, a little website, and a facebook event. We expected maybe 50 people to show up, but by the end of the night, we had maybe 200-300. A lot of the bars that year weren’t prepared – they didn’t have enough people on staff.”

The organization is fairly loose. At 3p.m., zombies start showing up at Island Park to adjust their costumes and put the finishing touches on their makeup. At 4p.m., the newly formed zombie army (or herd? Troupe? Pack? I guess I don’t know the official term for a group of zombies) will start making its way to Dempsey’s. After that, it will move to a new bar about every hour. The crawl will end with a special concert at The Aquarium, featuring More Than Lights. Zombies are free to move at their own pace, and come and go as they choose.

If a regular human is interested in becoming a zombie, but isn’t quite sure how the transformation works, they don’t need to be shy about asking for help. “There will be more than enough people there with makeup who are willing to zombie-fy you,” said Gary House Williams, one of this year’s organizers. “If you’re in a bar and want to join in, nine times out of ten, there’s someone there with extra makeup who will help.” As a piece of obvious advice, would-be zombies should not wear anything they don’t want to get dirty.

While fake blood and bad skin applications are practically requirements, many zombies take their costumes to a new level. Highlights from past years include a zombie Santa Clause, Amy Winehouse, and banana. During the first crawl, one participant came as an intrepid reporter named Chet Chesterfield, and recorded events as they unfolded.

While creativity is encouraged, destructive zombie tendencies are not. Zombies are expected to keep their blood to themselves, respect the cops, and refrain from biting humans. They are NOT allowed to overturn cars, break into buildings, or cause general mayhem. Zombies are also expected to be good tippers.

Former zombies are also invited back to downtown Fargo to help with cleanup Sunday afternoon. The cleanup, which starts at 12:30p.m. at Duffy’s, was added as a gesture of goodwill toward the businesses that host the crawl. The cleanup will only be for outside, especially outside of entrances, where zombies tend to reapply makeup.

When I was working on this story, I posted a comment on the event’s facebook site asking for stories or tips for newbies, and I think the response I got sums things up rather nicely. Eric Bobby commented, “brains…brain brains… BRAINS!...brain brain brain BRAINS. Brain?”

For a Quick Zombie Primer, visit:
http://hpr1.com/feature/article/a_quick_zombie_primer/

If You Go:

What: Fargo Zombie Pub Crawl 4
When: Saturday, May 14, 3 pm – 2 am
Where: Island Park/various bars
For more information: Visit the facebook page. (Search for “Fargo Zombie Pub Crawl”.) or watch a video from a prior year: http://qr.net/b015

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