Being a woman

By Stevie Famulari
Contributing Writer

Being a woman has little to do with physical appearances, vaginas, breasts and other feminine anatomy and curves. It is about being raised and treated as female.

I was raised as a female, but more so as an individual. Being raised in New York City, I did not understand gender bias to any great degree. I consider myself an individual who is a proud, accomplished, intelligent, well-spoken, outspoken, public, passionate artist and a woman. Since my move to Fargo in recent years, and presently, months of self-reflection in my art, I have had extensive internal struggles to proudly identify myself with my gender.

It came to a heads in recent months due to the vile treatment I have had due to my gender. It has been vile, appalling, offensive and unbelievable to experience such poor treatment from well educated people. To be told about pregnancy topics as the only example of ”extensions for time? open to me, and when pressed for other acceptable options for a male, I was given none. Then I was treated as if it was such a bizarre question of “What options would be available for extensions if I was a male?” No additional answers of family deaths, extension for education or research, personal health, or other were given to me - all of which are viable options. Only pregnancy was stated as an option to me.

This is a tame example of the bias treatment. The other examples bring up far too many emotions of utter frustration, and have brought me to tears at times, long work outs at others, my lawyer’s office, and into meditations. Therefore, I internally struggle to associate myself as a woman, rather than what I have done my entire life, which is to associate myself primarily as an individual.

The history of femininity is plagued with inequality of treatment as second class or lower, oppressiveness, rape, violence, weakness, lack of educational opportunities, closed doors and more. At presentations, I sit through lecturers teaching that there are time periods where primarily women were referred to as one of two things, mothers or prostitutes. Those were the primary two choices in literature of a particular time and culture. The full range of possibilities for an entire gender were majorly put into two types. How is it possible to continue to hear this poor treatment through history, and to then experience continued poor treatment even in 2011 in Fargo and then be asked to proudly associate myself as a woman? The history and current practice of associating myself by my gender leaves me with severely limited possibilities; rather than associating myself an ”individual? with seemingly limitless possibilities. Why would I then choose ”woman? rather than ”individual?

I am sure that there is long history of pride, success and celebration for the feminine and for women. There is no doubt in my mind that a proud and accomplished history and current practice exists of equality for women. However, I currently fail to experience it in 2011. When it becomes of a common practice to treat everyone equally with respect, equality, and support- I will be proud to have a stronger connection to my gender. Until then, it is my choice to be treated as an individual.

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