Big Oil

By Al Ness
Contributing Writer

Not long ago in the Forum, there were two stories about the oil spill in the Gulf. Sandwiched between those stories was a giant ad for an auto dealership having a big car sale.

So, it’s like, Damn that Big Oil…ooh, pretty cars for sale…Damn that Big Oil.

Seriously, everyone bitches and moans about the environment and points an accusing finger at BP for the spill, but yet continue to drive their cars.

However, the very next time you start your automobile you are JUST as responsible for killing a sea mammal, or a bird, a fish, a reptile. What, you think it’s only someone else’s car that is destroying the planet? You think that two-block drive to the fat-food restaurant is innocuous and innocent?

Get real.

So, the next time you’re driving to nowhere of importance and a story about the oil spill comes on the radio, substitute YOUR name in the place of British Petroleum as the one responsible for the mess in the Gulf.

It’s not the President’s fault, it’s not just BP’s fault. If you drove today it’s your fault.

If you don’t drive at all…amazing, awesome…it’s brutal isn’t it? It gives you that tenacity that the motorists can only brag about having. There should be big-time tax incentives and rewards for NOT driving, wouldn’t you agree?

If you only drive from the first day of winter to the first day of spring, you’re a superhero, a true benefit to the planet. Hooray and Hoorah to you, good citizen.
If you drive 182.5 days out of the year, nice try. You can do better though, right?

If you drive more than three hundred days out of the year, go tell your grandchildren “F*ck off kid, get your own air.”

And lastly, here’s a theory to twist around your brain. I’m no expert on oceanography, but I do know enough of the basics about the Gulf Stream current to understand that eventually the warm waters from the Gulf make their way to the North Atlantic, thusly warming Northwest Europe. What do you reckon is going to happen when all those little globs of oil make their way up there? Suppose the current reverses itself?

Hello, ice age.

So maybe, just maybe, all the hootenanny about 2012 being the proverbial “end of days” might have something to do with that little fiasco down in the Gulf today.

Weird, huh?

It’s sickening how much people drive.

America is the land of the fossil fuel fatties.