Christmas! More Like Socialistmas!

Folks, I want to get right to the point of this week’s article: Christmas is under attack. And I know you know this, but did you know that it’s under attack even more? Christmas is now officially caught in a crossfire between the liberal left and the liberal socialist left. And before I go any further I need to apologize to you, the listener, because I didn’t catch this sooner. I mean, if William Block doesn’t have your back, who does? Not the Governman, that’s for teabaggers’ sake. But don’t worry, your watch dawg finally caught a whiff of socialist stank and is on the trail to hunt down and expose this new liberal plot.

“But Mr. Block, how did this almost sneak by you?” you might ask. Honestly I don’t know, and I don’t feel bad because I think I might be the first True American Republican to catch this devious soci-liber-ism-istic plot. Not Limbaugh, not Hannity, not The Beck—ME. Which should make me swell with gallons of pride, but no, it only brings a dark cloud of worry over my blonde hair. If it’s gone on this long unnoticed, then what else are the “Liberales” trying to sneak past us. Well, on with the exposé.

Over a period of like a week or something, local socialists convinced the Fargoanian public to try to “fill” the dome with food and/or donations to combat our region’s “hunger” problem. Now, we all know there isn’t a “hunger” problem in Fargo, the problem we have (along with the rest of the world, mainly New Orleans) is pure and simple: laziness. Everyone knows the saying, “If you give a man a fish he can eat for a day. If you teach a man how to fish he will eat all his life.” In other words, “If you give a man a fish, he knows he never has to bother to learn how to fish himself, he just has to wait for you to feel sorry for him.”

Realizing this, I realized that Christmas had been silently under attack for a very, very long time. Reading and studying the internet, I discovered an agenda instituted in 1934 by the Carter administration. Through this program, Christmas was to be referred to in the President’s annual Christmas cards as “The Spirit of Giving” and quickly got “picked” up by the leftist news media and drilled into innocent American minds. Soon there was a Santa (federal employee) on every corner ringing a bell for the Red “help any lazy person in need” Cross, to charities for local “abused” women shelters (BIBLE quotation) and leading all the way up to the now (2009): Fill The Dome.

Fill the Dome is an institution whose sole purpose is to fill our sacred field of football warriorship with food for the homeless in this government enforced “season of giving.” Using “churches” that take tax cuts from the Government to spread the “word,” they convince well-meaning Americans like you and I to send our unwanted canned goods to the dome for filling.

But like all socialist leftist plots, Fill the Dome’s flaw sticks out like a sore thumb, for how idealistic and unachievable its goals are. Do you know how many cans of soup it would take to fill the dome? Do they have any idea how dumb that makes them sound? Why not something realistic like “How Many Cans Can You Fit Into This 1960s VW Bus?” Oh, no, that would require the left to use the right’s treasured institution of holy “common sense.”

I know, I know, it’s just too easy to point out the large holes in the liberals’ agendas, so I’ll get to what I really wanted to point out to you, dear listeners, is the hidden socialist agenda of the liberal agenda: the socialistic value hidden behind the cloak of helping poor people. Quickly name all the “spirit of giving” events: “Feed the Homeless,” “Fill the Dome,” “Toys for Tots,” “Coats for People,” “Clothe the Naked,” “Stop the Homeless from Dying of Exposure to the Elements,” and on and on and on.

These all sound like very noble causes, almost Christianlike, but they’re not. They are all forms of socialism. All forms of keeping individuals from relying on themselves. All forms of relying on Goverman bailouts. All forms of the lazy people sucking off the teat of democracy, if you will. When our forefathers landed on Plymouth Rock they didn’t take handouts from the Goverman, they didn’t have a Goverman, they just had their hands, and they tilled the land until it bore fruit for them to eat (not to mention they caught their own fish) and they did it by themselves, no help from anyone.

The point I’m trying to drive home, without using a bunch of intellectual gobbledygook, is how from the weeks before Thanksgiving and the weeks past Christmas we will be reminded about the “spirit of giving” the “season of doing good things” is really the “season” of making people lazy (socialism). If a man refuses to work to buy his kid a new car for Christmas, but you reward him anyways with “gifts of spirit,” then what incentive does he have to work harder in the New Year?

Now, imagine the man who does not receive free gifts and is belittled by his neighbors for not being able to buy a PS3 for his kids. This man will go out and look for work. Imagine the man who refused to work, and wanted to wait for Governman socialized health care to kick in, yet his child died on Christmas day. This man will have the classifieds in his hands at his kid’s funeral. Imagine the man who refused to work more hours in order to afford to buy the woman he loves a new diamond necklace because he doesn’t “believe” in capitalism and the need of material goods. This man, this man will be applying for law school the very next day. This man regrets going to school and taking Liberalism 101: Socialism.

Look at the facts* my friends, Christmas has finally been fully corrupted and taken over by the Socialists and their brothers of Communism. It’s time for us to take it back. So say “NO!” to Christmas Socialism, say “NO!” to helping the lazy Communist poor, say “NO!” to Berry Obama and his leftist take over of Christmas. Say “YES!” to Black Friday, and get out there the day after Thanksgiving and stop giving, and start buying and be a true American. Be what our forefathers wanted on Thursday and stand in line at Target at 5 in the morning and be a patriot and get that amazing deal. Be Red, White and True, and say “NO” to the giving of the Solialistmas side that wears the color of lazy, inept and blue.

Once again, just your local William “neighborhood hound dawg watchin’ your back” Block telling you the truth of common sense. Thank you, and keep listening, listeners.

*All facts have been found on the internet and told to the author by e-mail and carefully truthed checked.

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