Photo illustration by Kensie Wallner

Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite

By John Showalter
Contributing Writer

Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. Most people are familiar with that old nursery rhyme. If that little ditty is the most exposure you have had, count yourself lucky, because what they lack in size they make up for in tenacity and resourcefulness. Though not dangerous, they have no qualms about being extremely irritating. Unfortunately, they are rampant in both developed and undeveloped countries alike and are no strangers to our beloved Red River Valley. Rich neighborhoods, poor neighborhoods, city or country, bed bugs are willing to make any trek for food.

In order to know the enemy, I thought it best to consult with someone from the front lines of combat against these pests. Luckily, Chris Chrastha, a pest control technician who has worked with Johnson Pest Control in West Fargo for three years, had a wealth of information to share about these household nuisances.

For those of us who have been able to sleep tight and not worry about being bitten, I suppose it would be good to share some basic bed bug biology (try saying that five times really fast). Bed bugs are parasites that feed on the blood of warm-blooded mammals, though humans seem to be the host du jour. They have little problem making room for themselves in human establishments, because their flat bodies allow them to squeeze into any number of nooks and crannies in cushions, mattresses, couches, or any piece of furniture where someone might be regularly sleeping and attracting them with their promising body heat. “A young bed bug is about the size of the point on a pen,” Chrastha said, “and the adults are about the size of a pea, but flattened.”

Given enough time, bed bugs can multiply into the hundreds in someone’s home. Frankly, it’s surprising that they are able to reproduce so quickly. “Female bed bugs try to stay away from the males,” Chrastha said. What is the reason for this? Apparently, bed bugs are chauvinist pigs as well as parasites. Bed bugs mate by a process known as ‘traumatic insemination.’ In the case of bed bugs, what this implies is that the male has a spiky reproductive organ. The females have a corresponding reproductive organ but the males rarely make use of it. “The male will stab it in anywhere on the female’s exoskeleton,” Chrastha said.  At this point, I could resort to using immature sexual innuendo about bed bugs have needle-d***s or that any hole is a hole, but… oh damn, I just did.

Bed bug bites are never lethal, but they are bound to make a normally peaceful sleeper miserable. Different victims will respond differently to the bites. “A lot of them look similar to spider or mosquito bites,” Chrastha said. Additionally, some may develop rashes from being on the bed bug’s menu. If those bites and rashes continue over several nights, then there is a good chance that you have an unwanted guest in your bedroom.

However, the number one way to tell if there are bed bugs on the premises is to find their number two. Often times if a bed bug infested mattress is pulled back you’ll find that the bed bugs have decided to use it as a public restroom. “Their feces, which is basically digested blood, looks like pen marks,” Chrastha said. Something to keep a look out for when you tuck yourself in.

If you held out any hope that North Dakota weather may be too much rough going for these parasites, you’ve underestimated them. “They can survive eight months without eating and live in -40 degree weather,” Chrastha said. It looks as if even though bed bugs have not learned how to properly woo a lady, they’ve learned the virtue of patience in finding a nice juicy morsel wrapped between the covers. Chrastha knows this personally as Johnson Pest Control can have 5 to 10 bed bug exterminations a day throughout the entire year.

I suppose many readers have been thoroughly grossed out by the description of your potential parasitic neighbors. In that case, it’s a good thing that Chris Chrastha was able to share some tricks of the trade to protect your home. While these are likely to reduce your chances of bed bug infestation, one has to take into mind that these pests are expert hitchhikers. Someone with a pristinely clean house can still be at risk, as bed bugs are just as capable of latching on for the
ride home from the creases in movie theater seats or in hotel bedding.

“Dirtiness can increase your risk of bed bugs,” Chrastha said. One of the best precautions to take would be to wash and dry your bed sheets regularly. If the warm soapy water and spin cycle don’t do them in the hot whirling cyclone of the dryer will finish the job. “Washing your sheets at least once a week is a good idea,” Chrastha said.

Unfortunately, if these vermin have made their way into mattress country, pest control may have to use either heat or chemical treatment in the affected areas to exterminate them. Some unfortunate victims have had to take out their mattresses and destroy them so that no one else will pick up the mattress and continue the cycle.

So remember: keep your bed clean, be careful with secondhand furniture (a good cleaning could do no harm), and look out for bed bug business on your mattress. Hopefully, then, the bed bugs won’t bite.
       
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