Photo by Kensie Wallner

Float My Boat

By Michael Black
Contributing Writer

The 2012 Red River Valley Boat Show will take place this weekend, January 27-29th in the Fargodome. I wish they could flood it like the Roman Coliseum. Picture a come one come all Nautical Demolition Derby, speed boats, personal watercraft, fishing boats, runabouts, pontoons and, with the addition of the water feature, why not include a submarine or two? Prepare to ram…now that would be cool. The show will also feature all the latest innovations in marine technology, electronics, GPS, accessories, torpedoes, docks, trailers, riggings and depth charges. What, no submersibles? Jacques Cousteau would be disappointed.

Boats hold a special place for all of us I think. I remember as a kid having an old Ford station wagon toy car with a boat and trailer to tow behind it. I thought I was the coolest kid on the block having that car and a boat to boot! I would drive it across the carpet to the lake (bath tub), back up on the launch ramp (toilet) and float my boat. Some things, you never out grow. 

My sister has a lake place and it is fully outfitted with jet skis (personal watercraft in today’s correct nomenclature), pontoons, fishing boats, lifts, etc. One of her jet skis is scary fast and she drives it like a banshee. “Let’s go over there,” she will say. “OK,” I reply and before I can say another word she is about a mile away going full bore (60+ mph) leaving me behind on the Old Man Craft, literally in her wake. I might or might not see her again in a half hour or so. Let’s face it; watercraft are the closest thing we can pilot (unless you are a pilot) to Magic Carpets. You are floating, skimming, flying, wind in your hair, sun on your face—free. Sure they can be trying, hauling, launching, trailering but, really, aren’t they worth it? And in this land of fish we live in, owning a good bass boat is like owning a Corvette. People’s heads turn, the babes love you, and you can get to those fishing holes really fast.

This Red River Valley Boat Show is the largest in North Dakota and features seminars by Ted Takasaki with “Jigging Secrets for Monster ‘Eyes” and “Successful Crankbait Tactics.” Expert Larry Bollig will also present “Tips for Understanding Fishing Electronics” eight times over the three day run of the show (must be a lot of electronics). Knowledge is power…heck, with titles like those I’d be intrigued enough to sit in on one or two even if I didn’t fish! All this boat talk is firing some primordial synapses in me. I am going to take a shot at the live trout pond. I’m going…

IF YOU GO  

WHAT: 2012 Red River Valley Boat Show
WHEN: Fri.-Sun. Jan. 27-29
WHERE: Fargodome
INFO:  $7 adults; $2.50 ages 6-12; 5 and under free; $3 parking; http://www.fargoboatshow.com/