Give a Hoot—Ride Your Bike

By Al Ness
Contributing Writer

So, maybe you have heard of Streets Alive, that’s taking place this weekend.

“What does that mean to me?” you may ask in that cute little autocentric way you have.

Well, I’ll tell you. First, leave the car at home, the streets are blocked off to cars in a five mile ring. No need to fill up the tank with fresh-squeezed dinosaur juice for this. 

Try, just try, to pedal, or walk, or skate or skip or in-line around the five mile course if you can. It might be hard to break your white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel lifestyle, but just try; then, at the end of the loop, relax for a bit and reflect on how easy it was to go those five miles, then look around from where you sit reflecting, and count all the cars, every one of them within sight, one, two, five ten, eleventy-seven, many many too many.

Now; and this is the easy part, ride, walk, run the five-mile loop again.

Hopefully, the one viewpoint you bring away from your ride on roads absent of cars will be noticing the sheer numbers of cars there are out there on the open roads…it’s staggering—no, it’s beyond staggering, it’s filthy arrogant.

There, I said it…motoring is an arrogant form of transportation. This walk, run, ride will also differ from an ordinary traffic day because there won’t be an idling auto or belching bus in front of you to spew death delayed into your tender olfactory buds. Just breathe in that sweet old-fashioned air and pretend you’re in days of yore.

These are the good old days, after all; Big Car Co. International still sees parking lots and driveways to fill, and there are still vast stretches of land to pave, you know, for the explorers. Just because Fargo/Moorhead doesn’t currently smell like catalytic converters 24/7 or the air isn’t toxic like Istanbul’s, doesn’t mean that our exhaust here is innocuous.

Let’s suppose that somewhere in the future gas prices skyrocket to the point that Americans are forced to resort to (gasp) walking or riding scooters or bicycles to get around. After a year or so of angry, grumbling former motorists whining about their lost lazy-makers, we would find people to be kinder to their neighbors, healthier, thinner and just all around nicer people. “How so?” you may wonder. Because in a car, in traffic, cars are something to not crash into; whereas when you walk, run, or ride, you can see the person, say “Hi Neighbor,” if so inclined, or offer a simple nod of the hat…human stuff. (In cars, I hear that if you say “hi” to another driver, they road-rage your ass into the blue parking zone).

Try this simple test. Don’t drive for a week or two, use alternative means of transportation, walk, bike, bus, etc.; then get back in your car and find some good ol’ rush hour traffic; it’s not the same is it? See how people in their cars seem impersonal, detached, and impatient? It follows people around too, those angry shoppers yelling at the check out person, motorists for life; the ingrained consumerist programming to drive across town to get larger trousers because of the automotive lethargy that put the sloth in him in the first place…ride your bike instead and skip the mall.

Try it, you’ll see. If the bike ride isn’t enjoyable then you are on the wrong bike, period.
And finally, when you go bike shopping, don’t be swayed by flashy bikes at the discount chains (Hint: full suspension is lame unless you’re riding off cliffs; and bombing off cliffs on a discount bike sounds super sketchy, Sonny).

Far better and almost certainly cheaper, go to the Bike Workshop’s Gigantic Bike Sale and acquire a bike which I myself may have overhauled. Test ride lots of different styles until you meet your new bike. This Saturday, noon to 5pm, 1418 1st Ave N.

So get fit, ride right, have more fun. Seriously, park the car, the separation anxiety will subside.

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If You Go

What: Streets Alive
Where: Downtown F-M
When: Sun, Aug 29, from noon
Info: 877.977.5770