Mice on Crutches

By Al Ness
Contributing Writer

When I was moving out of the barn near Wolverton a few weeks ago, I had a run in with a mouse. It was traumatic, to say the least. While packing and boxing up things, I had emptied out the top two drawers of an old night stand and was working on the third when I pulled out a few items and put them in the waiting box. Then, from under a few items there she was peeking up at me with the “oh-oh, danger” look in her eyes that mice all seem to wear. “Whoa!” I said to myself aloud. “What are you doing in there” I asked her. “You don’t belong in there”

She had no reply to that but remained hidden.

What to do, what to do, what to do…I thought.

Looking around, I found an aluminum drawer that I had and started to construct a little mouse habitat for her to hang out in for a day or so. I made it escape proof the best I could, put some water in a dish, and some Top Ramen in there for food. I even set up the little hamster wheel in there, just in case she wanted to do a little exercise to keep in shape, you know?

So, with the little mouse habitat all set up and ready, it was Go Time. I put on some gloves and found an empty wastebasket to use for the transfer vessel between the drawer and their new habitat. The plan seemed simple enough, pick out a few of the items that the mouse was hiding in and tip the night stand drawer so she would slide from one to the other.

Easy enough, right?

Except when I lifted off the sheet metal stencil that she was hiding under, instead of just the one mouse, there was a entire family…baby mice everywhere.

When they saw me the frenzy began, crazed mice running frantic all over inside the drawer…needless to say, I panicked a bit. That was not what I was expecting to be under there at all.
So, I quickly started to tip the drawer to make the transfer into the wastebasket when Mama and a little baby leaped out to the floor below. Now, I had frantic mice running all over inside the drawer and flying through the air willy-nilly.

I hurriedly dumped the remaining mice into the wastebasket along with the rest of the junk that I didn’t remove (you know, due to the panic and all) which, unfortunately, included a two-pound bag of desiccant and lots of smaller items.
Thump, thump, clatter as all the junk fell into the basket.
Then I reached in and removed the dessicant bag and proceeded to pour the remaining mice into their new home. Plop…plop, the two babies tumbled out of the wastebasket and into the little mouse habitat along with a bunch of other scraps. The two little guys quickly made their way over to a little hiding place near the corner.

One of them seemed okay; the other little fella didn’t look so well, looked pretty beat up in fact.

“OH NO, OH NO, OH NO” then “I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY” I shouted. I felt terrible: I beat up an entire family of mice; what a bully I’d become. The one little one who wasn’t hurt too badly was hiding and giving me the scared eyes, while the other guy was just sort of slumped over the edge of the rags that I had placed in there.

“I’M A TERRIBLE PERSON” I shouted to the empty room.

Not knowing quite what to do as this really wasn’t the way things were supposed to go, I reached in and picked up the less injured one by the tail and set him on the floor. He took off towards the door limping and, I imagine, cursing at me as he fled for his life. Now, the last one left didn’t look very well at all, not at all.

Looking at my fancy mouse habitat with shameful eyes I realized that it was all metal and was going to be cold as it was early September, the time of year when the mornings start to have a little nip to them; so I set about tearing up some more rags to construct a small, warm recovery area for him.

I carefully scooped him onto a small piece of cardboard and moved him to the ‘Intensive care’ unit that I had just made.

“OhmyGod,ohmyGod,ohmyGod” I said. He looked so messed up- not bloodied on the outside or anything visible, but he looked like he was hurting pretty badly.

The initial plan was to place the ONE mouse in the habitat, put the glass top on and just watch for a day or so while I finished moving and release the ONE mouse back into the wild. Now, I had just wrecked up an entire family: the Mama and one of the babies jumped from about three feet to the hard concrete below, the other guy ran off limping, and this last one is lying here wounded.

So, feeling incredibly guilty, I draped a piece of canvas over the edge so he could get out when he felt better or Mama could come in and tend to him. Then poured a bunch more Top Ramen noodles nearby and with my ride back to town soon departing, I left him to his fate. When I returned a few days later, the noodles were all gone and so was the little baby mouse.

As I write this I wonder whether or not he is still running around the barn, if he is even alive still.

What savagery, what barbarism…what manner of heinous fiend beats up an entire family of mice?

Me…guilty, guilty me.

So, if you ever find yourself in a big red barn just south of Wolverton, MN, and see a little mouse running around on crutches, please, please apologize for me.

Questions and comments: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)