Ukrainian American Love

One Christmas Eve, Yuliya Derechyna and her mother were cooking in the kitchen as usual. Suddenly, the telephone rang. It was her friend from the tourist center.

“Yuliya, there is an American who wants to see the city. His name is Andrew. Could you please show him around?” he asked.

Showing some American around Odessa, her home town in the Ukraine, did not sound like fun to Yuliya. She was about to delicately say “no” when her Mom interfered with the conversation.

“You should go,” her Mom advised, and Yuliya agreed.

When Yuliya met Andrew, she thought that someone had played a joke on her.

“He looked exactly like a Russian. Moreover, he had no accent as he introduced himself in Russian,” Yuliya said. 

However, soon after she began talking with him, Yuliya noticed that Andrew was having a hard time understanding her Russian. Surprisingly, Andrew took Russian classes at Concordia College in Moorhead. Andrew and Yuliya spent two days communicating in a mixture of Russian and English.

“Language is not an obstacle. If you want to understand a person, you will,” Yuliya said. They found the common ground at once.

Growing up in the family of a professor/academician, Yuliya appreciated certain qualities she found in Andrew: his intelligence, confidence and humor. That was her notion of an ideal man, a type of man she could not meet in the Ukraine. There was only one thing that Yuliya did not like about Andrew.

“It’s such a pity that he is American,” Yuliya thought.

After two days spent together, Yuliya decided that she wanted to know him better. Andrew, originally from Bismarck, N.D., moved to Fargo a few years ago to get a master’s degree at North Dakota State University. For a couple of years, Andrew was into martial arts and had achieved considerate success in all sorts of tournaments. In addition, Andrew sings and plays the guitar, clarinet and piano. Currently, he is working as a computer consultant. He came to the Ukraine as a tourist and spent around ten days in Odessa before he met Yuliya.

“This was the first girl who made me feel nervous,” Andrew said.

Even though Andrew left Odessa shortly after the two met, they both knew they would meet again. For nearly two years, Yuliya and Andrew were e-mailing each other, sending gifts and mailing letters. He came to visit her once every six months. As time passed, Yuliya and Andrew realized that they could not live without each other. A long-distance relationship was too hard for the couple. On one of the visits, Andrew proposed to Yuliya, and she accepted. At the time, she was almost at the top of the career ladder, working in tax inspection.

“Beginning a new life was tough for me,” Yuliya said. “But I was sure that Andrew was that special someone. That’s why it was worth trying.”

Endless paper work and the struggle to get a visa took almost a year. Finally, Yuliya was ready to move to America. However, right before the trip, Yuliya’s father became fatally ill.

Yuliya wanted to stay with her parents, but her father said the very important words that enabled her to make the right decision: “It is your Mother’s duty to stay with me in bad and good times, but your duty is to be with your future husband.”

“My father knew that if I didn’t go then, I would have to wait for almost two years,” Yuliya said. She left Odessa for Fargo without knowing exactly where she was going.

Yuliya saw a lot of green areas, parks and lakes on the way from Minneapolis to Fargo. “I felt at home almost right away,” she said.

The first thought that came to her mind when she saw an American in Fargo was: “God, what happy and calm people live over here!”

The fact that people here smile a lot amazed Yuliya, who had a different cultural background.

“I could never tell if an American has problems or not because his face never reflects his/her inner troubles,” Yuliya shared.

In the Ukraine, it was different. If a person had problems, it was noticeable in his appearance.

“I think people in Odessa are more stressed out than in Fargo,” Yuliya said, “Unfortunately, it is very hard to find such culture of communication and such open-minded people in bigger cities.”

Yuliya was happy to find Fargo’s atmosphere to be relaxed and welcoming. Shortly after Yuliya arrived to Fargo, she married Andrew in the backyard of their house. At that time, due to hardships in Yulia’s family, the couple decided on a plain wedding with few guests.

Later on, Yuliya and Andrew had another wedding at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. The whole idea was centered on the Viking style because Andrew has Norwegian origins. The fiancée vowed fidelity with a sword. There was no notion of the 21st century. Everyone was dressed up and not allowed to use cell phones.

“We are an original couple, so we had to make it an original wedding,” Yuliya said.

Eight months have passed since the wedding. However, there are certain things that Yuliya is struggling with. The main one is carrying her ID with her at all times. The 27 year-old woman sometimes cannot order wine in a restaurant. “Nobody believes that I am overage,” Yuliya said.

All in all, the small difficulties cannot outweigh the happiness that she feels every day with Andrew.

“Everything that happened to me is not a lucky accident,” Yuliya believes. “The telephone call on Christmas Eve was my fortune, and I am thankful for it.”