Living up to a Clichéd Genre: “Paranormal Activity”

Long story short: The independent horror film “Paranormal Activity” was shot in 2007 for $11,000 inside the director’s house during a single week. Soon it was screening at a scant few colleges, then blew up at festivals, Steven Spielberg watched it, next thing you know some producers are launching a viral marketing campaign, and before you know it the dang thing is making all kinds of millions.

Sound familiar? Welcome to all comparisons of shaky camera—on the cheep—one-man-band film-making this side of “Blair Witch Project,” which producer J.J. Abrams solidified as a genre with “Cloverfield.” This genre involves unknown actors, realistic/improvised dialogue, handheld cinematography, lo-fi special effects, and actual “documented” scares through a handheld recording device. And “Paranormal Activity” lives up to all of the staples of this relatively new genre.

You have a couple of late 20-year-olds that have been together for 3 years and are currently living in a fairly new “non-haunted” house. The lady of the house (Katie Featherston) has started to feel that she is once again being haunted by an unknown “entity” which has followed her from house to house since childhood. This excites her boyfriend (Micah Sloat) and gives him a reason to become obsessed with documenting the situation with his new expensive video camera. The boyfriend is more than skeptic about the situation until (you guessed it!) the situation escalates and his girlfriend is suffering from unexplained supernatural bite marks on her stomach! OMG! Scary!!! Yes, those last exclamation marks are intended to imply sarcasm.

“Paranormal Activity” is a good movie if you are a teenager with a group of friends that don’t know any better. “Paranormal Activity” is a good movie if you are older and are looking for something dumb. “Paranormal Activity” is good if you are easily scared. “Paranormal Activity” is good if you prefer your movies filled with the same clichés inside the same box, but with slightly different wrapping paper.

What I am trying to express my frustration at is this: “You are obviously in a haunted house. GET OUT.”

No matter how you use the camera, horror films are currently stuck in the death throes of any genre: instead of being innovating and creative like they once were, they just get more and more entrenched in their own clichés until they turn into spoofs like “Hot Shots” and the wonderful “Scary Movie” franchise. If it’s anything like the film noir, movie musicals or the Westerns, “Paranormal Activity” is proof that horror is on its way to the same grave.

I want a horror flick where when there’s an unexplained loud noise, the characters don’t descend the stairs with nothing but the light of their digital camera. Do what a real human would do and turn on the stairwell lights before doing so. I want a movie where when you witness several unexplainable and horrifying things happen over 20 nights, you don’t decide to stay just “one more night” just to see what happens.

I want a horror movie that doesn’t fit an equation. That equation being: The quality/originality of a movie is lesser than or greater to the number of teenagers sitting in the seats on opening weekend. Not to mention the other equation: Horror movies are made in proportion to the mean amount of disposable income that teenagers carry for that fiscal year.

Although there are several movies over the past decades that lie within this genre, the one by far the best is “REC.” from Spain. It has the best reason for some idiot trying to hold onto a camera no matter what while people are being murdered around him or her. Not to mention by far the best ending. The ending of these “doc” horror films is a staple unto itself: The cameraman/camera being destroyed by what ever evil the cameraman/camera was filming. Do NOT watch the American remake.

I know there is a reason the couple doesn’t leave the house and it is a cop-out. Had they actually left the house, maybe something original could have happened. “Oh hey honey, you totally got bit by some invisible thing in the middle of the night. Nah, don’t call anyone. Nah, we’ll stay here, it’ll be fine….”

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