What Makes A Man?

By Joshua A. Boschee
Staff Writer

This past weekend I took the opportunity to relax and catch up on some of the Netflix videos that had been collecting dust on my TV stand. I will admit that if anyone were to look at my queue, they probably wouldn’t be surprised by the fact that it is made up of documentaries and cheesy gay movies with a sprinkle of box office new releases.

The Butch Factor is a documentary that examines the definition of masculinity within the gay community. I found it very intriguing and found myself constantly checking my own assumptions of what it means to be masculine, gay and straight.

In the documentary, the filmmakers begin by interviewing a variety of gay men that are involved in more masculine activities, including cowboys, athletes, law enforcement and construction workers. Based on assumptions and stereotypes, most of these men would pass as straight to 99% of people and they recognize this.

Each speaks of how he lacked role models when growing up because he was attracted to men, but didn’t see himself reflected in the gay men that were on show in the media or publicly out within their communities.

Most of them weren’t out until they moved away from home to a metropolitan city that had a larger gay community with diverse activities. In their home towns, there was typically one gay bar or a few out people that defined what gay was.

These men also talk about the internal conflict and shame they felt being attracted to other men and how this drove them to participate in more masculine activities or overexert their masculinity. Some of them dated or married women to demonstrate their masculinity and none came out until their late twenties to mid-thirties.

The second group of men the film makers interview would be considered more effeminate. Most were ridiculed, harassed, and threatened emotionally or physically, usually in school. Because of their femininity, they became a much bigger target, as their mannerisms, dress, hair styles and language threatened the heteronormative understanding of what it meant to be a man.

They talked about their struggle with depression, lack of resources and suicidal tendencies as young men who also had no role models.

The interesting correlation between these men is that they all are in one way or another working as advocates or in the “helping” field to make the next generation of queer youths’ journey less of a struggle.

Because these men were forced to come out at an earlier age, they also appear to be more comfortable with themselves as adult males.

The third group of men interviewed are men who dress in drag or have transitioned from female to male. Their perspective was interesting as the common question from others is “Why would you want to dress as a woman or become a man?”

The documentary goes on to discuss how gender and gender roles vary throughout history and across various cultures. One sociologist makes the statement “that really only in America do we see this uber-masculinazation of men.”

In other cultures or places throughout the world, it is perfectly normally for men that are friends or family to walk hand-in-hand, to greet each other with a kiss, to be close in proximity and show other forms of affection, not based on sexuality, but on respect and emotional connection.

The history of the gay male community in the United States is discussed with the evolution of the community in its cohesiveness and progressive visibility being tied to a variety of national events, from wars to political movements.

The documentary ends with a discussion of the extreme femininity and masculinity within the gay male community and the conflict that sometimes arises with regard to who defines the gay community.

The discussion turns on the fact that until we understand that we are just as diverse as any other community, we will continue to have conflict, and are no different than the straight people that want to continue oppressing and harming us.

The documentary is one that I recommend to anyone interested in trying to answer questions in his or her own head. I found it enlightening to think about an aspect of our community that I hadn’t explored or had occasion to think of much.

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