R.I.P. Ralph’s

By Phil Hunt
Contributing Writer

“The Decendents CD skipped in the jukebox. $4 pitchers. Drinking before legal age. Band-room window sweat…” -Lonny Unitus (The Trans Ams)

Today, it’s a lot quieter on the corner of Main and 4th Street in Moorhead. A yoga studio stands there today. But five years ago, it hosted a loud, tipsy throng, comprised of hundreds of punks, hippies, gays, straights, artists, writers, college students, college professors, old dudes, young ladies and even a dog or two. No matter what crowd you hung out with at Ralph’s, they felt ownership of the place. They all felt like it was their bar. And they were all right.

If you were there, you know how much fun it was. If you were not there, you might have heard a few good stories. But it was just a bar. Most of the people and the memories remain, and they’re more meaningful than a pile of bricks.

This weekend, the Aquarium will help you shake some of those memories loose, with a reunion of five bands that played at Ralph’s in the 90s and 2000s. They’re also hosting some bands that have survived the death of Ralph’s and gone on to new, different things. It’s a good chance for the old crowd, and some new blood, to get together under one roof again and feel what it was like in the back room at 1:30 a.m.

Friday night is kind of a crazy metal night if you take the Punk-rockabilly of Throbbing Hot Rods out of the equation. Saturday is more on the punk side. But rather than go on about the whole event, let’s hear about the place, from some of the performers who will be there. And maybe and a couple of others who were lucky enough to enjoy a $4 pitcher beneath the comforting glow of its iconic neon sign.

Ralph’s 101

“It was one of the only establishments that I have ever felt really, really comfortable going to alone just to hang out and know that I would always find someone to share a laugh or conversation with. It was never awkward going there alone because you never felt like you were alone when you were there.” -Chris Hennen (Promoter)

“It always felt like home.” -Peter Yuenger (Ralph’s Regular)

“Squares called it the “gay bar.” -Lonny Unitus

Underage Anecdotes

“I hung out EVERY day from 7 to close with Scott ‘Bubba’ Garman, ‘TR’ (Troy Reisenauer), and ‘little TR’ (Todd Reisenauer) in the booth next to the juke box, drinking pitchers. They were roughly 24. I was 17. But because Scott vouched for me, somehow I got away with it.” -Annie Sparrows (The Soviettes)

“One thing I’ll say is that I celebrated my 21st birthday there five times. I was 26 years old to Billstead (a popular bartender) when I actually turned 21.”
Adam Marx (The Seawhores, Dag Island Lewds, Skeeter)

“Jay Miller screamed at me in the bathroom on my 21st birthday because I had been going there for 3 years.” -Danny Nygard (Cut and Run, Wisconsin Night Life)

The Corner That Rocked Longer

“One of the first shows I remember there was Yo La Tengo. The Fates opened for them, I believe. My guess is most of the early shows at Ralph’s were booked by the Hammerhead boys and consisted of the four or five bands they had going at the time.” -Phil Leitch (Fargo All Stars, Yahtzeen)

“Another thing was that the first time I ever played there, I felt like I had arrived. Playing that night with (Skeeter drummer) Arjun vividly turned a chapter for me and I believe it led me down the road to where I’m at now. Is that a good thing? I would hope to think so.” -Adam Marx

“We played a ton of shows because Wil (Simon) and I would go to beat a cover charge, and Hennen or Jay would have a band cancel.” -Danny Nygard (Cut and Run, Wisconsin Night Life)

“Brian Eveslage was playing in, I believe, Mothmus. Some guy was heckling them. He was a drunk regular and just finally got to Brian - so in the middle of a song, Brian took off his guitar and physically removed him from the bar all the while the song kept going - he came back and they finished the song.” -Micah Dahl (Floid matrix, Your Lord and the Infinite Soul Tribe)

Mayhem

“One of the most unathletic men I know, Ben Rheault, threw a picture perfect strike of a bouncy ball at a certain jam band in the back. He nailed the singer right in the face unintentionally, Karl Qualey gets blamed for it and was called out and confronted about it several years later after Ralphs closed: ‘you like bouncy balls man?’ ‘I don’t know what you are talking about,’ he said. He knew but played dumb.” -Chris Hennen

“Ralphs mayhem… every time Your Lord and the Infinite Soul Tribe came to town… seemed like there was a lineup of people just waiting to throw bottles at the back room door. But how many other bands played there and had that kind of the sweet reception? The bottle breaking.” -Micah Dahl

“I also remember a Dag Island Lewds show where there was an inch of broken glass covering the floor by the time we were done playing.” -Adam Marx

“The Mistreaters (a touring band from Milwaukee that played at Ralph’s) broke up when Todd and Troy (Reisenauer) threw a bag of garbage at them on stage. Thankfully they made up later at my place. Dang, Chaos!” -Justin Seng (The Trans Ams, Les Dirty Frenchmen)

“I always thought it was sort of insane that we had a stripper dancing on stage at our show with the Makers.” -Lonny Unitus

Lasting Connections… and Some Fleeting Ones

“I met my future wife there.” -Danny Nygard

“I met my wife there too.” -Brett Christensen (Mothertruckin’, Marpas Apram, Starship Reducer)

“How many times did people have sex in the women’s bathroom? Well at least how many times did Dirty Preston?” -Micah Dahl

Last Call

“I could always run into someone I knew there, hang out all night and probably have a good time even if the band sucked!” -Justin Seng

“The last night that Ralph’s was open, I was standing in the back hallway with about 50 other people, just looking around when something hit me in the foot. It was a tile from the floor that someone had kicked. I picked it up and put it in my pocket even though it was filthy, it was a piece of Ralph’s that found me so I knew it would be my souvineer from that place. It’s perfect for a reminder of a crumbling bar that so many people called home.” -Scott Reierson (Throbbing Hot Rods)

“Everything else I remember is soaked in vomit. Unpublishable. See you on Friday.” -Adam Marx

“I need a Ralph’s burger.” -Brett Christensen

The Ralph’s Corner RIP 5th Anniversary Weekend is Friday and Saturday at The Aquarium. Friday night features reunions from Egypt and Starship Reducer plus opening sets from the Seawhores and Throbbing Hot Rods. Saturday night includes reunions of The Soviettes, Floid Matrix and The Trans Ams, with an opening set from Wisconsin Night Life. You must (really) be 21 years old to attend.

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If You Go

What: Ralph’s Corner RIP 5th anniversary
Where: The Aquarium
When: Fri, Sat, May 21-22, 9pm
Info: 701.235.5913