Abominations Unto the Lord

By Neil Schloesser
Contributing Writer

If you are a Bible thumping bigot who uses the word of God to curse me, why don’t you also speak up in favor of the slightly more obscure but no less important passages? Is it because they’re outdated and no longer practical in a modern society or is because you feel like you have a right to selectively enforce God’s word? I bet God doesn’t appreciate being listened to only some of the time. That’s called hubris and God doesn’t care for that particular emotion.

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment:for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.” Deuteronomy.22:5. Okay, I am confused. Since women wear pants but pants used to be only worn by men, does this mean all women who have worn pants are sinners, and what about the Scots? Is a kilt a dress or is that okay because they are Scottish and their culture made that cut of fabric masculine?

I’ve been to a few different churches in my time and I’ve seen a lot of women wearing pants. Does that mean they are going to burn in hell?  Which definition of male clothing is correct? There must be a standard, a sort of Platonic ideal of male clothing (oh those Greeks and Romans with their togas, scandalous!) because if there isn’t then it implies that the Bible versus might be relative to a place in time and space but I know that can’t be since Bible verses written in a desert two thousand years ago are repeatedly used to condemn gay people. Bigots would never ignore the word of God to get their way because they are true believers and true believers follow the word of God, verbatim. That’s why when women menstruate they don’t sleep in the same bed. It’s impure.

Speaking of impure, money lenders are often seen as impure but this is America and what brings in the green can’t be that bad although God feels differently.  “He lends money on interest and takes increase; will he live? He will not live! He has committed all these abominations, he will surely be put to death; his blood will be on his own head” Ezekiel 18:13. Capitalism is financed through the lending of money but conservatives seem okay with ignoring this part of the Bible. It’s humorous that God dislikes money lenders and it is the religious right who are often pro-business. What strange bedfellows? I sure hope God doesn’t mind, but judging from the talk of death, I’m guessing He cares just a little teeny bit.

Everyone else gets a pass, including the adulterers and masturbators.
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” Luke 16:18 NAB. So Rush Limbaugh can get married 5 different times and still have a place at the moral majority table but I so much as touch a man and I’m screwed?
And what about masturbation?  “And if your hand – even if it is your stronger hand – causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell” Matthew 5:28-30 NLT. I haven’t seen many one handed teenagers lately. Teenagers, especially boys, must be better at controlling their sinful thoughts than in the time of Jesus.

How is that possible that Rush is respected and most teenagers have two hands?  Could it be that culture changes? No, of course not, that’s too easy of an explanation. I’m guessing homophobes are selectively enforcing the Bible based on their own morals and wants. But that would never happen because a true believer believes, unquestionably and completely. If it is in the Bible it must be truth. After all, if an archaic verse that may condemn gay people is being enforced then surely all of God’s laws are going to be enforced because nothing pleases a parent more than when their children only follow some of the rules, especially when these rules are in every hotel room in America. Yeah, God won’t mind that at all. There’s nothing in the Bible to indicate that He’s wrathful, nothing at all.

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