Joshua A. Boschee: National Coming Out Day

No More Apologies
To the Editor:

I was visiting with a friend the other day about the upcoming community events in honor of National Coming Out Day, which is October 11th. He asked me why I felt the need to celebrate a day to “flaunt” who I was in public and “force” people to come out. Since he is gay, I assumed he would understand the importance of such a day.

After I collected my thoughts, I shared that, to me, National Coming Out Day isn’t about flaunting who I am or forcing people out of the closet. It’s about looking at the reasons why people in our community aren’t able to live openly as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, (LGBT) or even as allies and then finding a way to solve those problems. Later, while pondering his question and the many similar questions that I have heard over the years, I came to the realization that all too often LGBT people and our allies are expected to be apologetic for being open and honest about who they are.

National Coming Out Day was founded the year after Matthew Shepard was brutally beaten and left for dead, alone and tied to a fence outside of Laramie, Wyoming. His killers used the defense that they panicked when they found out Matthew was gay, and beat him beyond recognition out of fear. Is it the fear of ignorant and violent people that forces me and many others to be apologetic and hide part of who I am? Is it the fear of having teachers talk about gay writers that forces school districts to fire teachers? Is it the fear of having a lesbian clergyperson deliver a spiritual message that is forcing factions of religious organizations to separate from their founding history and traditions? Is it the fear of rejection and isolation at school that forces LGBT teens to attempt suicide at a much higher rate than their straight classmates?

I refuse to apologize because of fear.

I, along with thousands of other LGBT people and our allies throughout the Red River Valley, are here to stay. LGBT people should be able to live free of discrimination, harassment, and fear. We should be allowed to achieve our dreams and goals as our straight neighbors and family members are able to.

Let us all work together to make the Red River Valley a better and stronger community for all people to live, work, and learn. It’s not until you get to know who we really are that you will fully understand why we celebrate National Coming Out Day.

If you would like to learn more about how hate and fear affects a community, join Theatre B, the Pride Collective & Community Center, and the North Dakota Human Rights Coalition at 7PM on Monday, October 12th at the Historic Fargo Theatre for The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later (An Epilogue), which is being presented simultaneously at 120 locations throughout the world.

Joshua A. Boschee,
President of the Pride Collective
Fargo