My Letter to America

To the Editor:

In this society, we sheep, called “citizens,” are in for a great awakening. Congratulations to all the mindless drones that hide behind text messages, constant partying, and pop culture. We now have yourself a country free of democracy—welcome to our new status of bureaucracy.

By silencing ourselves, we have now officially given up our status as “informed” voters. We cannot even endow ourselves with the former title of “informed.” How many of us really even know our representatives or what they stand for? But I bet we sheep could elaborate for hours about club music or American Idol.”

People no longer run this country. The government is no longer in fear of its people; rather it is now vice versa. Instead of fighting for a cause, whether liberal or conservative, we would rather indulge our minds in the gross pop culture of society. Yes, it is way more worthwhile to know the biographies of fictional characters from the hills than support Wall Street reform, or simply sign a petition. Oh yes it is far better to wonder why Tiger Woods cheated on his wife than understanding what we are voting for, because as we all know, Tiger Woods’ scandal affects our lives directly.

As sheep of America it is our duty to blind ourselves with useless nonsense so the elite can swiftly do as they want: them making billions of dollars while we donate bodily fluids to eat is the way it should be. Do not worry about poverty and starvation around the world, or right here in America for that matter. Those people do not matter because they are not our friends on face book. Anyway, as a sheep you probably already joined the face book group “stop world poverty” so there is no need to attend a rally or protest. Our time is all taken up with binge drinking and constant texting about who is hanging out with whom, or what we thought Brian was thinking of our outfit. And as we all know it is crucial to a sheep’s image to spend ungodly amounts of money on clothing and personal items instead of giving a dollar to support cleanup in Haiti. We as American sheep have a duty to consume without question. Who cares if our Nikes were made with a child’s crippled broken hands, he is still working right? And not to mention these Nikes are so cool looking! There is no need to be informed anymore, we can trust corporations and politicians to run our lives and to interpret our liberties. Oh how great the life of a sheep will be, The United Sates of the Blind is just right for you and me.

-Zachary Toliver
Moorhead