Randy B. Christianson: Live and Let Spit

To the Editor:

Ed Raymond’s latest multi-warhead screed includes a shot at the Redneck Academic & Intelectual Games in E. Dublin, GA, which include watermelon seed spitting (for distance) and somewhat earthier pursuits. Mr. Raymond dismisses these competitions with all the cultural imperialism one might expect from a Northerner and cosmopolitan resident of a statistical Major Metropolitan Area like Fargo.

I feel compelled to point out, however, that the late luminary of UND’s English Dept., “Whopper John” Little, was introduced back in the 1970s at the writer’s conference he founded as an honorary judge at the National Tobacco Spiting Contest (by now very likely the International T.S.C.) in his beloved Mississippi. In the spirit of that year’s writers’ conference theme, new journalism, I had urged the learned professor to write his account of that experience (suggested title: Great Expectorations), but he never did, and I never got around to asking such basic questions as what a judge, honorary or otherwise, has to do at a tobacco spitting contest; isn’t it just a matter of pulling out the tape measure? Do they award points for style? Do spitters ever foul out, and do barriers protect the spectators? Anyway, Mr. Raymond’s dismissal of similar contests in Georgia seems a disservice to Whopper John’s memory and the South’s rich cultural ore he so ably mined. In a region which hosts any number of cow chip tossing contests, Ed, we should be able to let the good ol’ boys live and let spit.

Randy B. Christianson
Madison, WI