Slight chance for Bachmann as President

To the Editor:

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R.-Minn.) has only a slight chance of making it as a presidential candidate.

Here’s the line of reasoning. She has national attention only because she is a U.S. Representative. She is in Congress only because certain voters have elected and reelected her. They happen to be wusses that voted for her mainly because they agreed with her on one issue. She would be unable to achieve presidential candidacy on the basis of her stand on that issue.

Let me concede that other voters, drinking men, mainly, would support Bachmann just for her looks. But such guys are not all wusses, and they would be too few.

I’d rather not define “wuss” here. This is a community newspaper, and candor would be out of place. If I can’t write something nice, I should not write anything at all, correct? Anyway, most readers have a general idea of what “wuss” means. If only I could narrow the definition a bit. …

Now readers will suspect that I fear doing so would expose me as a (D-word deleted) and thus make it clear to the binary way of “thinking” just where I fit in. Well, I’m independent. (Maybe I shouldn’t spell that word out, either; independence of mind is offensive to some people.) But a few hints of what I’m getting at may arise if I turn to the example of one known (D-word deleted), who has won an international audience with his tales from wuss country.

Moreover, Garrison Keillor’s not-so-imaginary Lake Wobegon is right in Bachmann’s own district. If the world can buy his cornography, why wouldn’t the nation buy hers? This is the “slight chance” I mention above.

However, the puritan Keillor is in fact a (D-word deleted). His radio and fiction-writing persona may hide a sardonic, unpitying view of humanity; but the world takes him at the word of his shtick and loves him for his quite imaginary people loving.

The puritan (R-word deleted) Bachmann, on the other hand, would be calling on the nation to tighten up, repeal, cut back, outlaw and revoke. There’s the wrong twinkle in her eye. Her campaign for candidacy would not have—here’s the broad hint—a prayer.
Rodney Nelson        
Fargo, ND