Lost? Just Let It Be

By Micara Link
Staff Writer
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” -Gilda Radner

Ever have those days, maybe weeks or months where you feel absolutely lost?  Like, you don’t know which way to go, what decisions to make, or what to do?  Yeah, me too. I know how you feel.

The other morning, I woke up with a sick, heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I could feel my entire body pulsing with this heavy “ick” feeling.  I didn’t know where it came from or what was going on.  It was hard to get out of bed, so I continued to lay there feeling everything: heaviness, uneasiness, fatigue, nothingness. I had never experienced anything quite like this before. It was strange and intense.

I eventually got up and made my way to the kitchen.  I just stood there not sure what to do.  Do I make something to eat or not?  If I were to make something, what would I make? Am I even hungry?  What is going on? The simplest decisions were hard to make. It was almost like I wasn’t supposed to be making any decisions. I simply existed with no inner guidance as to what to do next.

I called my friend and told him how I was feeling.  Every word that came out of my mouth was, “I don’t know”.  The answer to every question was, “I don’t know.”  The feeling that was permeating through my body felt like, “I don’t know.”  I didn’t know. I felt lost and confused. What didn’t I know?  I don’t know, so I went back to bed.

As I was lying there, I took a few breaths and relaxed. The feelings I was experiencing were different. Normally, I am guided in one direction or another. I usually feel my intuition guiding my way. That day I felt nothing.  Part of me was scared. I wondered if something was wrong, but even if I wanted to know, I wasn’t able to. I knew nothing except for where I was in that exact moment. So I continued to lie there in my bed, wide awake, and completely unaware.

Later on, I met with a client for a reiki treatment.  During the treatment, I could sense that she felt the same stuck, lost, not-knowing feelings as I did.  As soon as I sensed our similarity, my guides came in to deliver me this message, “It is in these times of not knowing that we are gifted with the opportunity to truly surrender to life in this moment.  It is through the unknown that we can truly be in the present moment giving our trust and faith to the universe that we will be given what we need when we need it.”

It was like a light bulb lit up inside of me.  I didn’t need to know anything because the future wasn’t important. What was important was the present moment.  That’s what IS important, the right here, right now.  Hearing that message brought me so much peace and clarity.  I wasn’t supposed to know what to do next.  The universe was instructing me to simply be present in the moment and to trust that my next step will be revealed when it’s meant to be.

So, what did I do next?  I surrendered.  I completely let go of my desire and need to know everything.  I didn’t have a plan. I became present in the moment and allowed.  Without any plans or direction, I thought it would be a nice day to go to the park with my dogs and let them run around.  That day, I experienced the park much more vividly and fully than my previous visits.  I took in the beautiful fall colors, I smelled the fresh, clean air, I heard the leaves rustle with every gust of wind and the sounds of my dogs running joyfully through the grass, I felt the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair.  It was heaven.  I marveled in the absolute perfection and brilliance of that moment.  It was one of the best gifts I opened myself up to receiving.

Every moment is a teaching moment, but some moments stick out more than others.  I believe that I was meant to experience the fullness of not knowing in order to find the gifts in those moments.  It taught me even more about one the main lessons in life: to be present and to trust that all is as it should be.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying before that, life gives you want you need, not what you want.  I believe that to be true.  I don’t think I would have chosen to feel lost, scared, and directionless, but I’m glad that life gave that moment to me, because I wouldn’t have found the gifts that were waiting for me.

What are you experiencing right now in your own life? What might life be teaching you? What gifts can you find in your situation even if it might be unpleasant?

If you aren’t aware of the answers yet, even if you have no idea and feel lost or stuck, remember that somewhere deep down inside you know the answers to all your questions. Until they rise to the surface, let it be. Simply enjoy the moment you are in right now. Experience it in its fullest, because in all of reality, the present moment is all we really have.

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