By Susie Ekberg
Q: Susie, when my friends come to me struggling, I am whirled up in their energy. Sometimes I am physically wiped out after spending time with them. It is like trying to save a drowning person and in their frantic scramble to survive, they pull me in and down. Do you have advice on how to help and still maintain my own energy?
A: From what I’m seeing, you’re a very empathic person. In a perfect world, we’d ALL be empathic, connected to everyone and everything else through love and caring. But in that same perfect world, everybody would have a high energy that’s based in love, respect, and caring for the world. In other words, we’d all have roughly the same frequency.
Have you ever taken a hot bath? Sometimes you add cold water. But then you’ve got hot water at your back, and cold water at your toes. So you start to swirl the cold water around your body in a circle until the hot becomes cooler and cold becomes warmer. You equalize the temperature.
The same thing happens when you mix your energies with other people. If you are a high frequency person (ie. hot) and someone else is a lower frequency person (or just colder than you), YOU are the one who will feel the shift down. The other person is thinking, “I feel great!” Sure – because YOU’VE warmed them up!
Now I’m not talking about your good friends. Hopefully they have a similar “temperature” to yours, and even though they have bad days, they are mostly easy to be around and don’t bring you down. And I don’t think they WANT to bring you down!
But when someone is experiencing emotions such as fear, anger, frustration, hurt, and resentment (to name just a few), that’s going to bring their energy down. And if you are empathic and open to all energies, you’re going to mix with those lower energies and then YOU will be affected.
Do you feel that most of the time you are 100% present and IN your body and your life? Do you have a strong sense of who you are, a strong core of being that you plant yourself in the middle of? This is like being in the eye of the hurricane or tornado. It is calm, peaceful, quiet. But venture out of that center, and you get swirled up, hit with debris, dizzy, scared - it’s a heck of a ride.
How do we get out of that safe Center? It usually starts when we’re younger and more energetically vulnerable to outside forces. We rely on our elders and others around us to help us realize our core and the importance of residing there, but usually those same elders have no idea what that previous sentence means!
They want to ‘help’ you by TELLING you what to do (because they know best), and by questioning your innate intelligence. You learn to look outside yourself for the answers and guidance, and there are a lot of people perfectly willing to help you do just that!
“Don’t be so loud, don’t chew with your mouth open, don’t go to that school, take THIS job, believe in THIS…” so that your focus is now directed outward to the world. You are effectively residing OUTSIDE of yourself, and you probably have no idea who you are, what you think or believe, or what you know.
It’s also like owning this beautiful, amazing house, yet you live in a tent in your front yard. You can SEE the house, but you don’t live IN it. Now that doesn’t make much sense, does it?
The first step that I’ve found helpful in finding your center is to really WANT to find it. You’ve never lost it, so don’t worry. You’ve just gotten off track. Take a few minutes each day just to sit with yourself. Relax. Take a few breaths. Just bring your attention to the present moment. There are probably thousands of books on the subject, but one I particularly like is Eckhart Tolle’s classic, “The Power of Now.” Meditation is also a good tool for cultivating mindfulness and being present.
Once you’re comfortable with this radical concept of being IN your life, you can start to focus on being 100% powerful and protected and empowered. A good exercise for this is starting with the whole breathing/being thing, then starting to focus on your physical energies within your body.
Concentrate on your stomach area. See a beautiful sun shining there, and breathe energy into it. Do the same in your heart.
This starts the process of creating an impenetrable power grid around you. If YOU are on the inside of this sunny ‘force field’ and this magnificent sun energy is flowing through you it creates like a cosmic bug zapper that keeps out lower energies. It’s also like a burglar alarm system that keeps you safe in your home, even if you’ve got all the windows open. Nothing can come in that isn’t welcome.
This addresses your question of not being affected by lower energies, whether they come from friends, strangers, or just the world in general. You can still BE with your friends, but NOT BE affected by their moods. YOU don’t want THEM affected by your bad moods either, do you?
So if everyone’s taking care of themselves, protecting themselves, yet able to be lovingly supportive of others, we’d HAVE that perfect world, or at least be taking some really giant steps toward that it.
Once you’ve gotten the hang of building that energy and maintaining it, your energy field should look almost like a radiant, iridescent egg extending about an arm’s length all around you, starting under the ground (to keep you grounded), and ending somewhere around a foot or so above your head. You can just keep visualizing this, as what you focus on you help create, then reinforce.
Before you spend any time with anyone else during the day, try doing that simple visualization, and see if you don’t feel better when you’re with others. Actually, it should help you anywhere you go, even if you are just staying home, as we’re constantly bombarded with energies from all over. If you need more suggestions, please let me know, and until next time, may the “Force” be with you.
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