Q: My friend was in perfect health (ate well, exercised, was a good weight), when she suddenly developed heart problems. Now she’s fighting for her life. My intuition tells me she isn’t sick—what’s going on?
A: I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. It seems as if we’re surrounded by very challenging circumstances right now—everyone is, be they our health, someone else’s health, relationships ending, jobs changing (I sound like a broken record, but it’s still true).
When I look at your friend, I’m seeing her as healthy. I don’t see anything wrong with her heart. How can that be, when you’ve just told me she has heart problems?
Well, there’s the physical heart then there’s the emotional heart, or higher heart. It looks like there’s some blockage between her higher heart center and her physical heart. Usually it doesn’t cause actual physical problems, but in her case it appears to have manifested physically, as well.
When there’s that kind of blockage, the physical body doesn’t get the optimal amount of energy, and it can get overburdened and overly taxed, which can then lead to physical symptoms.
I’m seeing that you are highly intuitive and plugged in to the greater perceptions, so I’d hold tight to that vision, even if life down here seems to go against what you’re feeling. We just don’t get the whole picture from where we’re standing.
One of the main things we’re being called on to do at this time, it seems, is to take full responsibility for our individual lives, then let others do the same. We can’t make anybody do anything, nor can we do things for them—we can’t work at their jobs, or live with their boyfriends, or talk to their moms.
Everybody’s smack dab in the midst of being called on to take care of their own lives, and for some, that’s getting to be a pretty precarious business.
To help you have a centered life, some questions to ask yourself include:
Are you happy?
Are you working at a job that brings you deep joy?
Are you spending time with those that support and inspire you?
Are you doing what you want to do?
Are you taking care of yourself?
Pull back from having your energies in other people’s business and concentrate on your own.
It looks like you are the nurturing, involved type that is there for everyone else, trying to help as much as possible, the shoulder to cry on, the one who takes everybody’s burdens as her own.
How do you feel right now? Your friend is the one that’s sick, but I’m concerned about you, and your tendencies to take on everybody else’s concerns.
What can you do about her sickness—anything? No?
Then here’s something you can do. Take a mental step back, take a deep breath (always a good idea to breathe regularly), then send your friend all of the loving, healing energy you can. This energy doesn’t come from you, it goes through you, so you won’t feel depleted.
It’s like being in a boat and seeing a drowning friend. Instead of jumping overboard to share in her predicament, you stay firmly and safely in the boat and offer her a hand up to where you are. You don’t put yourself in any danger and are in a better position to actually be of help.
Energetically that’s always a good idea, especially right now when everybody seems to be going through any number of serious crises. For me, it totally manifests in middle back pain—carrying too many burdens, as I worry about my four kids, my parents, my husband and friends. Phew—if I carry them all, that’s like 1200 pounds! Too much.
So my recommendation is to only carry your own concerns: be compassionate toward others, but let them carry their own burdens.
You can’t take anyone else’s burdens, anyway—you can only double them by adding theirs to yours.
They still have to deal with their problems, and now, apparently, so do you! But you can’t, remember? So let it go, let it all go, and put your energies into progressive action.
What can you do? Make your friend supper? Get her on a prayer chain? Bring her over some trashy magazines and some fresh chocolate chip cookies? If there’s nothing to “do,” then move on. There’s nothing you can do.
Everybody has their own path, their own plan for their life, and even if we don’t understand why they’re doing certain things, or don’t understand why certain things are happening to them (or to us!), I think it helps if we can trust that there’s a greater Plan for our lives, that there are no mistakes or coincidences, and that we are not alone in these messy, confusing times.
Take some good time to just be by yourself, take some deep breaths and tune in to your life. Take back any energy that may be out “taking care” of others. Pull it back for yourself so you can feel filled up, so you can be 100% there and present for yourself. Now you can truly be there for others, not just out of balance and stressing about everything and everybody.
As for your friend, I don’t know what to tell you. She’s stubborn and she’s strong, but it looks like there are some higher issues at play in her situation, and in those cases, the future is not written yet.
In fact, the future is rarely written in stone—it’s more fluid, like a river flowing, taking gentle curves and bends that we cannot predict from where we’re standing.
So live your life to the fullest: be there for your friend, do what brings you joy, and keep going, just keep going. As Scarlett O’Hara says, “Tomorrow is another day.”
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