The Road Less Traveled

Q: Throughout your work, have you discovered things that cause you to live your life differently?

A: Every moment of every day! But I tend to be a little stubborn, so it takes a while to catch on. I call myself a head butter. If I run into a brick wall, I’ll back up, run at it again, back up, run at it again. Over and over, until battered and bloody, then I stop, look at it, and figure out another way.

The most incredible thing that my work has taught me is that people are infinitely more precious and beautiful than I would ever have known if I couldn’t see the broader picture of who they are. So in my work I get information for others that I can also apply to myself. But do I listen? Sometimes, but not always, and usually not right away. Bang bang —  there goes the ol’ head against the wall again.

For example, someone who I see is very hard on themselves may come into my office, always expecting too much and trying too hard. They’re stressed out, tired, and their mind races. I would say to them that they don’t need to push things; in fact, pushing things usually makes things HARDER. Going with the flow is much better. Relaxing, taking deep breaths, walks, having fun, laughing — all essential to this person… and to me, as I have those same tendencies as that client.

So whenever I feel that some information I’m getting could also pertain to me and my life situation, I listen very carefully (not that I don’t always listen closely, but you know what I mean) and file it away so I can pull it up and think about it later. But it usually takes four or five times of hearing something before I’m like, “Ah, now I get it,” and take the time to take a closer look.

One area that my work has really helped me is in regard to working too hard. Because I was the youngest of five very smart, athletic, successful sisters, I was always racing headlong through life, just trying to catch up. After I realized that there was no longer a race, we were all grownups, and the playing field was leveled, I found that it was almost impossible to slow down.

But after seeing time —  and again how imperative it is to spend just as much energy on my inner life as my outer life —  I really took the active steps toward slowing everything in my life down. I cut back on my work hours, quit teaching Reiki and holding monthly groups, quit teaching at Moorhead Community Ed, and concentrated more on what is the most important to me: taking care of my family, seeing clients, writing and spending time with other family and friends.

It finally sunk in for me: At the end of my life, what would I have to show for everything? That I’d written a lot of books, seen a ton of clients, traveled around all over AND WAS NEVER HOME FOR MY FAMILY?

I saw the futility of my frenetic actions and stopped. Dead in my tracks and realigned my whole life, which is still realigned and magical to me. I have never been happier. It’s ironic also that once I slowed down, focused on what was most important to me, that my life and my work have expanded exponentially. I get to write this great column and now have a radio show, so I can reach more people than if I just met with them one by one. It’s a vastly more efficient life, and one that allows me to do everything that brings me joy. I have balance, and that’s another really important thing I’ve learned from my work. That it’s crucial to have fun, to let unnecessary things drop out of your life, to not worry so much about things, and to find out what brings you the most joy, then DO IT! If you’re not having fun, then what’s the use of this precious life?

Another thing I’ve learned from my work is that there is so much more to people than anyone can ever imagine, and that’s simply magical to me in its vast possibilities. We’re brought up to believe that we have limitations, that we can only do so much in our lives, and not to expect too much. But if we work really hard, we should be able to get by.

And that’s just not true! We were born to grow into our greatness, to realize our full potential, which as far as I can see, is limitless. There is simpl y no end to your magnificence – you are infinitely more beautiful, creative, intelligent, loving, deserving and worthy than you could ever imagine. How I understand it is that your soul is the ocean, and that if you started diving right now, you would never reach the end of it. Isn’t that neat? I sure think so.

When I started this work I wasn’t very knowledgeable about science, or history, or geography, or physics, or math, but ironically I get information every day explaining our lives in these kind of terms, so now I really know a lot more than I ever did before. And how cool is that? I was explaining to someone about the weight of a water molecule, and then I started laughing, explaining that I didn’t know anything about that, and my client laughed back, saying that he was a scientist, and that yes, in fact, my information was correct. COOL BEANS! Wish I’d been able to do this work in high school — I might’ve done better in biology.

Perhaps one of the greatest things I’ve learned from doing my work is to trust myself. Although I’ve seen countless things that looked seemingly impossible, and yet turned out to be possible, one of my client’s situations defied any logical explanation other than a miracle was necessary to help her. Lisa is 28 (she gave me permission to share her story with you) and a superb athlete, but through a freak accident was rendered almost paralyzed and ended up in a wheelchair. When she came to me, my first thought was, “Crap — what in the world am I going to say to this woman? This is so horrible…” And what did I see? That this was a spiritual thing for her, and that during this time of her forced slowing down period, she would become wide open spiritually. I saw that the end of it all (in six months), she would be even better than before, running —  with a better memory —  all around superior.

I was faced with a personal dilemma. I was scared to tell her the things I saw for her, because what if they didn’t come true? What if I gave her false hope and she got worse, and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life? So I had to make a decision — keep my integrity and do what I know to be the right thing (say what I was seeing), or keep quiet and not lift her hopes up in light of what looked like an impossible situation. The doctors all told her they couldn’t do anything for her, all of the tests were inconclusive. In short, nobody knew what in the heck was going on. So then here I come, and I’m supposed to trust, and step way out on the limb… and I did. I told her everything I was getting for her, and I trusted.

Again, let me tell you that this was a huge leap of faith for me, and maybe intuitives aren’t supposed to admit that they doubt their intuition, but man, I was nervous. But I did it anyway, and that was my lesson in all of this. The end result? She is now running again, and is well on her way to a miraculous recovery, and after only three healing sessions with me. Besides that, meeting her was a huge gift in and of itself; her optimism and unfailing enthusiasm through it all were inspirational to me, and I’m honored that I got to share in that part of her journey with her. Amazing not only for her, but for me as well.

For all of the reasons I’ve just stated, I love this work so much. It not only helps others, it helps me, too. See? We all are here, just helping each other the best we know how. And if I wasn’t able to help myself before, through my work and what I learn, I’m now able to progress in my life much faster and easier than if I’d never done this beautiful work. And if it’s going to be called work, we should get some good out of it, shouldn’t we? So I’ll now ask you the same question — what do you learn in your work that causes you to live differently? I bet there’s a long list for you, as well.

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