by John Showalter
Those who have seen 1990’s Paul Verhoeven-directed, Arnold Schwarzenegger-starring sci-fi action romp Total Recall probably remember a scene where the musclebound protagonist is propositioned by a three-breasted woman. So of course, when I interviewed Moxxxie Sable, the Three-Breasted Woman, I had to know if people had brought up that film with her ad nauseum. “Oh boy, do they ever,” she said. “I just laugh and reply, ‘Did you know that she was a beautiful alien? And did you know that you cannot mate with a different species successfully?’ They either walk away, or give me time to hit them with the punch line, ‘I am a beautiful three-breasted human, you totally can mate with me successfully.’”
Oftentimes when a person is born with one or more breasts than normal, it is due to a medical condition known as hypomastia, or accessory breasts. In Moxxxie’s case, the reason is just a little different. “Actually, I was supposed to be a triplet,” she said. “I am a successful twin to one sister. We do everything the same.” Among the things they have in common are that they share all but one of the same tattoos, which are tributes to family members (the one differing tattoo is the word ‘applesauce’ under her sister’s ring finger, where Moxxxie doesn’t have one), and both have careers as showgirls, although Moxxxie is newer to it.
“She has some birth defects and I was born with an extra underdeveloped breast.” Moxxxie had always known she was different than other women. “I always knew it was not normal to have that extra piece of me. Especially growing up with a sister. I never cared, it’s like a birthmark. Until my last operation, most people never knew.” Her unique physical trait was generally not noticeable under clothing.
Despite the fact that Moxxxie’s extra breast often went unnoticed under her clothing, she grew increasingly self-conscious about it. “I finally decided to go big or go home three years ago, since the birth defect was truly unattractive when I was naked, I was very self-conscious about it.” Learning about the late 19th century’s famous three-breasted women of the circus sideshow inspired her to pursue the unorthodox solution that has now become a central part of her act as a showgirl. “This actually helped inspire me to go all the way with my special body. I realized I should not be embarrassed by something so unique, and instead to capitalize on what I was given.”
It wasn’t easy, however, to find a doctor who saw eye to eye with her vision. “It took a long time to find a person willing to do anything else but simply remove it.” That wasn’t an option for her, however. “It’s a part of who I am and I might as well be myself.” Eventually she was able to arrange surgery to have the size and placement of her third breast corrected to make it appear more “normal”.
After that, Moxxxie started performing on the suggestion of her twin sister (herself a successful showgirl) and her booking agent, who thought that Moxxxie’s unique physique might make her even more successful than her sister on the cabaret circuit. She started developing her shows with the help of her sister about 24 months ago and began touring in earnest in March 2018 and has been booked almost every weekend non-stop ever since. “So far I have been more places than I could have ever imagined, and now I know why showgirls fall in love with this lifestyle.”
Readers might be curious about some of the day-to-day practicalities of having an extra breast, and Moxxxie was perfectly open about them. One obvious question is: where does she get bras? “That is simple. I don’t wear them. It’s better for your female body anyway. On stage, I only wear a band with some fringe to over the scarring and match my costume.” And what about her day-to-day and love life? “It never affected my love life or daily life. In fact, since the surgery to make it more cosmetically appealing, it’s only caused more attention from men and women.”
Unfortunately, not all of that attention is positive. “To put it bluntly, people suck. No matter what you do in life, someone will always ridicule you. I constantly deal with negativity that pours in from skeptical creatures. They find my sister online, write her nasty messages saying she’s a liar and a fraud, simply because they have no idea we are twins.”
Moxxxie has learned to take it in stride, however. “…I have learned to laugh at them for being so ridiculous. I am not the odd ball in the crowd, they are. They are the problem with society, and while they waste time being jealous and hateful, me and my sister are travelling the world with a big smile on our face.” That sort of can-do attitude has led her to not only to slay on the cabaret circuit, but even to break through into the world of fashion.
After all, as they said in Mel Brooks’ The Producers, “When you got it, flaunt it.”
IF YOU GO:
Featured Dancer: Moxxxie Sable
Friday, November 2nd and Saturday, November 3rd, 7pm-2am, two shows nightly
Northern Gentleman’s Club, 325 10th St. N, Fargo
June 15th 2021
December 17th 2020
November 14th 2020
October 7th 2020
March 18th 2020
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