Tracker Pixel for Entry

Lower the brow: Stix Zadinia of Steel Panther

by James Osborne | .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) | Music | September 27th, 2017

In 2010, local hero Andrea Anderson and I went to the House of Blues in L.A. with a couple of friends. We were told we were seeing a “joke metal band.”

My most vivid memory of that night was being enraged at PBR being $10 per can; second to that was laughing my ass off in between bursts of this “joke” band nailing Van Halen, Iron Maiden and Judas Priest songs like they’d written the songs themselves.

My memory gets fuzzy after that. But I sort of remember two shirtless women fighting each other on stage. Then Andrea ended up drunkenly punching Corey Feldman, or something. Point is, I was not expecting Steel Panther to be such an event, and on a Monday of all days. We still tell the story seven years later.

The band has since put more emphasis on original songs, weaving their off-color humor into some catchy and authentic-sounding hits. Think if David Lee Roth joined Shout at the Devil-era Mötley Crüe and then that band had a baby with a book of dick jokes. Not to pigeonhole them, song styles range from early thrash to stool-perched lighter lifters of the late 80s.

Steel Panther drummer “Stix Zadinia” (a joke I just got, like, right now) briefly emerged from his under-stage fellatio harem to let us know what one could expect of a Steel Panther show. “Magic,” he says. “We’ll cause you to question everything you’ve done up to the point you walked in the door. You’ll say ‘What have I wasted my life doing, other than listening to Steel Panther live’.”

They’re promoting their fourth studio album, “Lower the Bar,” of which Stix says, “If you scientifically dissect the songs it’ll give you the code to ancient civilizations and allow us to communicate with alien life forms.” Which sounds hyperbolic until you hear titles like “Goin’ in the Backdoor”, “Poontang Boomerang” and “Walk of Shame.”

Steel Panther is no joke, despite how many they’ll probably make about giving herpes to your wife, when you see them this Thursday. The band is legitimate both comedically and musically.

Stix played a game with me called Medicine or Metal band.

Kung Fu Jimmy: In this game you have to decide if the name I give belongs to a metal band or a pharmaceutical used in the treatment of STDs. Ready?

Stix Zadinia: Sure.

KFJ: Number one is Acyclovir. That’s A-C-Y --

Stix: That’s herpes medication. C’Mon, dude.

KFJ: Wow, okay. How about Xatran?

Stix: Hm, that one….I’m gonna say metal band.

KFJ: Right. It’s a Panamanian black metal band. How about Eavral?

Stix: That’s a metal band.

KFJ: That’s right. It’s a Finnish black metal band. How about Zovarax?

Stix: That’s Medicine.

KFJ: That’s right. Anti-viral used in the treatment of herpes. You’re really good at this. How about Zaburon?

Stix: I’m gonna say medicine.

KFJ: No, it’s an Italian death metal band.

Stix: Ok, minus one. Go for it.

KFJ: Malathion

Stix: I’m gonna say band.

KFJ: Malathion is an insecticide used to treat crabs.

Stix: Jimmy, you’re killing me now. I wanna get more right.

KFJ: Aldara

Stix: I’m gonna go band again.

KFJ: Aldara is used in the treatment of genital warts, aka HPV.

Stix: They usually just burn those off.

KFJ: How about Zanthicus?

Stix: That’s a band

KFJ: That’s right. Zanthicus is a Filipino Death Metal band. Nice Job, Stix. 5 out of 8. You win!

Stix: What’d I win?

KFJ: Respect

Stix: Aw. Thanks, bro.

If you have a robust sense of humor and you like heavy metal, you will have a wonderful time. If you’re sensitive to lewd jokes and loud noises, I doubt you read this article in the first place.


Stone Sour with Steel Panther and Cherry Bombs

Friday, September 29, doors 6pm, show 7pm

Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St N, Downtown

$35, all ages, 800-745-3000



Tracker Pixel for Entry SkootersPlumbing

Recently in:

OXBOW N.D. – Marcus Larson stops along freshly tarred Trent Jones Drive, careful not to spill his coffee swishing in a ceramic mug. He’s aware his 1991 Chevy pickup doesn’t belong amongst the neighborhood’s Porsches and…

The Historical and Cultural Society of Clay County (HCSCC) has been dedicated to the preservation of the history of Clay County. Since their mission is “To collect, preserve, interpret, and share the history and culture of Clay…

Thursday, December 21, 6-9pmSanctuary Events Center, 670 4th Ave NGet in the Christmas spirit singing your favorite Christmas songs with friends and family. Music provided by the Good Shepherd band (Lutheran Church of the Good…

According to a New York Times article titled: “Tinder, the Fast-Growing Dating App, Taps an Age-Old Truth,” close to 50 million people use Tinder. On average they spend 90 minutes a day assessing their matches. Men are three…

What the hell is happening to this country?For a long time the United States has been considered to be the richest and most powerful country in the world. Our president has been the leader of the free world for decades because of…

cjlarson75@gmail.comNewly remodeled since July of this year, the Spirits Lounge inside the Holiday Inn in Fargo takes the lounge concept to a level of comfort that isn’t often seen in town.On one side of the room, underneath two…

On the Corner of University and Northern Pacific sits a building that has just been revitalized. Once a horse barn, this large picturesque structure now houses Wild Terra Cider and Brewing. When the new owners Breezee and Ethan…

“The DIY scene welcomed me in at the age of 15 and I never left. The DIY scene has allowed me to travel to 49 of the 50 US states. I have made friends all over this country that I will have for the rest of my life. People…

On her biggest canvas to date, filmmaker Dee Rees paints a vivid picture of two American families in “Mudbound,” a deeply satisfying drama based on Hillary Jordan’s 2008 novel.Adapting the screenplay with collaborator Virgil…

hanhe@mnstate.eduThere are a variety of types of events and groups in our communities that encourage and support women. Robin Swanson, organizer of Her Story, wanted to create another special event for herself and other women. “I…

Theater B is now opening its second show of the season with a play entitled "I Will Not Go Gently" by Jennifer Childs. "This clever one-woman show plays with our sense of nostalgia and shines a light on our quest for self…


​Talking to strangers

by Sabrina Hornung

“I don’t have a tour, like, on the back of a sweatshirt,” comedian Paula Poundstone says. “I go out every weekend. This weekend I went out Friday, Saturday and Monday. Mostly it’s Friday/Saturday or Thursday through…

Believe it or not, “The Holidays” are upon us. If you’ve been to Target lately, and I know you have, you may have noticed that the Christmahanakwanzika stuff is already up (if you’re unsure of that term, Google it).In fact,…

Essential oils. They are all the buzz lately. It seems everyone has heard of them or is purchasing them. Some people know how to use them; others are just interested in the wonder of their complex scents.Essential oils are as…

Live and Learn

​The other shoe

by HPR Contributor

By Elizabeth Nawrotnawrot@mnstate.eduI look up from my hotel lobby breakfast astonished to see a framed print of Wassily Kandinsky's "Mit und Gegen,” a masterpiece of color and composition that just happens to be my favorite…

By Tony I do not blame any company for seeking incentives. Rather, I blame the government for giving them away. Incentives represent an unfair and unsustainable tax system that affects real people.Some…