Tracker Pixel for Entry

Solitude Among Seniors This Thanksgiving

News | December 1st, 2020

By Annie Prafcke

annieprafcke@gmail.com

Fargo, ND – As winter’s chill and a global pandemic provide the backdrop for this holiday season, many of us are finding it difficult to feel spirited. However, for seniors residing in retirement facilities, this year’s Thanksgiving may be especially lonely.

Since March, many long-term care facilities in the Fargo-Moorhead area have restricted or closed off outside visitation, a necessary precaution for vulnerable residents. As of the morning of November 20th, COVID-19 has caused 466 deaths in long-term care facilities and 758 deaths of people 60+ in the state of North Dakota. There are currently 134 active positive coronavirus cases among residents and staff in Fargo’s 17 long-term care facilities.

Experts fear US coronavirus cases will spike if people travel and gather in groups for Thanksgiving as they did in Canada last month. The Centers for Disease Control affirm that even small gatherings can contribute to the spread of coronavirus. They state that the safest way to dine this Thanksgiving is virtually and with members of one’s own household.

Yet, as coronavirus cases continue to surge, social isolation is taking a toll on mental health, particularly for the elderly community. While quarantine is necessary to slow the spread, some studies suggest that it can contribute to depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms, which could last long-term. Some studies from the US National Library of Medicine link social isolation with lowered infection resistance, more frequent emergency hospital visits, and cognitive decline in older individuals.

Additional challenges arise for people living with memory loss who may not fully understand the situation. Grant Richardson, Senior Executive for Development and Community Relations at Bethany Retirement Living on 42nd, says residents with late-stage dementia notice their family is not visiting but often have difficulty comprehending why.

“it’s more confusing than not to try to explain something that is really unexplainable,” he says.

Richardson says in past years, families reserved common spaces in Bethany to eat Thanksgiving meals with their loved ones. However, this year, due to CDC and ND Department of Health regulations, visitors will not be allowed to dine in the building. While a Thanksgiving meal will still be provided and delivered to residents, he says the mood will not be the same.

He adds that Community Life staff have done an excellent job planning socially-distanced and virtual events, but he believes the decreased social interaction is affecting the mental health of residents.

“. . . not being able to have engagement with family members or with other residents that you’ve come to know, or even staff members is hard,” he says. “It affects your outlook, it affects your motivation, and it affects your desire to continue to do the things that you’ve been doing.”

Polly Drayton, a resident at Touchmark at Harwood Groves, will also spend Thanksgiving alone in her apartment. Her family decided it was safest for everyone to eat in their own households rather than gather together.

Drayton reminisces about the annual Thanksgiving meal served at Touchmark, where she ate with her family in past years. “It was a very nice Thanksgiving dinner – buffet style – and we could invite our family to come and everything, but it’s gonna be scaled down considerably,” she says.

Anne-Marie Fitz, Executive Director of Touchmark at Harwood Groves, affirms that the Dining Services team will prepare a hearty Thanksgiving meal of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, veggies, and pumpkin pie, which will be delivered to residents in lieu of the usual buffet.

Drayton says she understands the importance of Touchmark’s COVID-19 regulations, but she misses the social aspects of living in a retirement community. “. . . we’re kind of isolated from each other,” she says. “. . . [We’re] not mingling with the different residents any more than necessary and keeping our social distancing. So it’s just not quite as social as it used to be.”

While social distancing has been a challenge, Drayton says she appreciates the effort Touchmark’s Life Enrichment/Wellness team puts into planning safe activities for residents. She enjoys attending trivia via Zoom on Thursdays and participating in the reading program, through which staff provides her with articles to read and discuss. While Drayton looks forward to “returning to normal,” she says these precautions make her feel safer.

For isolated seniors across the country, phone check-ins from medical personnel, organization staff, and volunteers have provided necessary social contact and friendship during quarantine. Drayton says she appreciates the weekly letters that families from First Presbyterian Church Fargo write to her, a program started in mid-March to support church members who live alone.

Tracy, who asked that her last name remain confidential, started this program with her son, Eli (15), and Kayla Bones, Youth Director at First Presbyterian Church. Tracy says the group writes to about forty seniors in Fargo-Moorhead and surrounding communities weekly. She says they write about everything from school to holiday decorating to home improvement projects. For special occasions, they send treats with their letters. For Halloween, they sent packages of candy and for Thanksgiving, they will include turkey stickers.

“It’s just good to try and make everybody feel better when they’re kind of lonely and can’t really do much,” Eli says.

Becky Trumbo is another member of First Presbyterian Church who participates in this project with her kids Benji (14) and Ali (11). She says she got involved because her own 76-year-old mother, who is a cancer survivor, is dealing with isolation during this time. “We definitely understand the situation and how lonely that can be,” Trumbo says.

Since many seniors will spend this Thanksgiving holiday alone, small gestures can make a big difference. Polly Drayton says she is grateful to her family for staying in touch with her during these trying times. “My son has gotten us on a family Zoom every once in a while and they’re real good about calling,” she says. “We’re all in this together and we’re trying to stick it out.”

Recently in:

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comNorth Dakotans will take part in a nationwide civil rights rally on Thursday, July 17. Protests, marches, rallies and acts of service are scheduled in Bismarck, Bottineau, Devils Lake,…

Back-to-school season is on the horizon, but there's still plenty of summer left. Check out our favorite August attractions and events in North Dakota and western Minnesota. And if if you missed them, here are a few excellent May…

July 18-19, 25-26 and August 2-3North Dakota Horse Park, 5180 19th Ave. N., FargoLadies and gentlemen, prepare to place your bets — racing season is upon us! Not just horses will be racing this year; word on the street suggests…

By Sabrina Hornungsabrina@hpr1.com On July fourth, Nathan's Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest took place at Coney Island. The winners, Joey Chestnut and Miki Sudo, reigned victorious. Chestnut earned his 17th title by…

By Ed Raymondfargogadfly@gmail.comWhy doesn’t the world require politicians to leave office at 60?Most of the leaders of countries, whether gods, fascists, democrats or socialists, are not doing very well these days. David Van…

By Rick Gionrickgion@gmail.com Holiday wine shopping shouldn’t have to be complicated. But unfortunately it can cause unneeded anxiety due to an overabundance of choices. Don’t fret my friends, we once again have you covered…

By Rick Gion and Simone Wairickgion@gmail.com The Red River Market returned to downtown Fargo on Saturday, July 12. The event will take place every Saturday except July 19. (That date will be moved to Sunday, July 20, due to the…

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comThe Moorhead Public Library will offer three free, all-ages outdoor concerts featuring regional bands this summer. The series begins on June 12 with the Meat Rabbits, a group that blends…

By Sabrina Hornungsabrina@hpr1.comPhoto by Sabrina Hornung Wing, North Dakota is a town of 132 located about an hour northwest of Bismarck on Highway 36. There’s a shiny new Cenex on the intersection of the highway and the high…

By Deb Wallworkdwallwork@icloud.comI first met Catherine Mulligan at a party at her house. It was a small gathering, spontaneous, just a few people over for dinner. Directed toward a stack of plates and bowls and a big pot warming…

By John Showalterjohn.d.showalter@gmail.comPhoto by Yvonne Denault There is something intimate and personal about plays. Even in our age of multimillion dollar Hollywood productions and droves of streaming services, watching actors…

By Annie Prafckeannieprafcke@gmail.com AUSTIN, Texas – As a Chinese-American, connecting to my culture through food is essential, and no dish brings me back to my mother’s kitchen quite like hotdish. Yes, you heard me right –…

By Sabrina Hornungsabrina@hpr1.comNew Jamestown Brewery Serves up Local FlavorThere’s something delicious brewing out here on the prairie and it just so happens to be the newest brewery west of the Red River and east of the…

The drug that keeps re-purposing itselfBy Ellie Liveranieli.liverani.ra@gmail.com There is a drug that is getting a lot of attention nowadays all over the world. It has various commercial names (Ozempic, Wegovy and Rybelsus), but…

By Alicia Underlee NelsonProtests against President Trump’s policies and the cuts made by Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) are planned across North Dakota and western Minnesota Friday, April 4 and…

By Vern Thompsonvern.thompson@rocketmail.com Working in the Bakken oil fields of the Williston Basin is so different from my home in Fargo. I'm not judging, because the people working and living in western North Dakota are very…