Tracker Pixel for Entry

​End-stage Alzheimer’s Proves Healthcare Systems Are Toppling

Live and Learn | March 16th, 2022

By Lonna Whiting

lonnawhiting@gmail.com

When we talk about the healthcare system being broken or failing us, what does that actually mean?

It’s a question I’ve been grappling with since 2013 when my mom was diagnosed with early-onset dementia. Almost immediately after her diagnosis, my family was inundated with calls, emails, paperwork—all questioning the validity of her illness; the validity of her basic life needs.

At age 61, she was too young to receive Medicare benefits and still too functioning to qualify for Social Security disability.

She had a little too much money for the Medicaid waiver that would secure her adequate memory care housing, yet she didn’t have quite enough to pay for in-home care and the mortgage on her house.

We had to spend down her assets and money, and essentially make her very poor before decision makers could check a box on a form on a sheet of paper somewhere in Texas that would confirm her infirm.

Advocating for My Mom Became a Part-Time Job

I carried Power of Attorney papers with me wherever I went in case I had to prove to someone that I could make decisions on her behalf. I had a list of phone numbers for Cass and Clay County social workers, an elder-care ombudsman, Alzheimer’s Association case workers, chaplains, assisted living directors, neurologists, counselors, and many, many nonprofit organizations.

In all, it took me and my brother two years to get her adequately settled in at Ecumen, the place she’s called home now for almost a decade.

Once my mom turned 65, however, all that paperwork needed to be revised, re-reviewed, refiled and accepted by state and federal authorities because she’d made it to that magical age when Medicare kicked in. Our county case workers handed over a thick envelope and said, “Just sign the places that we’ve highlighted. Everything will be fine.”

It was the first experience (and the only one) when the “system” seemed to work in our favor, but that’s only because we’d done our homework and prepared ahead of time in anticipation of providing adequate proof that my mother, in fact, still had dementia and wouldn’t be getting any better.

My Questions Since Then Have Been Left Unanswered

What happens to people who don’t have loved ones or friends in their lives to anticipate these types of transitions within the system? Who do they turn to that we can trust has their best interests in mind? Who cares for the anonymous Alzheimer’s resident?

Seven Years Later, the ‘System’ Hasn’t Changed

Just like that, I’m navigating the end of my mom’s life alongside the support of my partner Kevin and many friends.

By some miracle, she qualified for Medicare-covered hospice services in the fall of 2020, until she suddenly no longer qualified and was discharged from services in February 2022. The reasons are complicated, which I outline in my article “When hospice abandons patients,” on Medium.

To cite my article, the reasons for her hospice discharge go like this:

  • Because she was now chair-bound, she was no longer a fall risk.
  • Because she had optimal vitals, she was not clinically close enough to death.
  • Because she’d actually come off some medications for behavioral issues, they considered her improved.
  • Because she was nonverbal, she wasn’t acting out or swearing at staff anymore.

Of course, Medicare looked the other way when considering she can no longer hold her own head up, talk, sing, or express much emotion at all. She is completely dependent on help from others, yet the help she receives from others is now extremely limited due to Medicare rules.

Watch: Lonna Whiting explains what happens when someone is live-discharged from hospice at end of life

I consider America’s healthcare system to be a part of our larger failed state.

This failure to support families like mine has also caused me to lose the joy, peace and dignity in helping someone I love deeply die.

Instead of holding my mom’s hand and rubbing her neck with essential oils, I’m sending emails to senators and state and federal leaders, pleading with them to at least acknowledge there’s something wrong with how we care for sick people when we remove the services they need the most, particularly at the end of life.

Instead of listening to The Beatles, whispering “I love you so much, Mom,” into her ear, helping her eat dinner and extra dessert, I’m worrying about what’s going to be taken away from us next.

Ultimately, she will be taken from me at some point very soon, but what’s it going to take for this to not happen to another family enduring both grief and the loss of care support?

It may take examining this failed “system” beginning with the guts. It’s going to take a lot of hard work. It’s going to take all of us who believe health care is a human right.

I’m ready to fight. Are you?

Lonna Whiting is a writer and the owner of lonna.co, a marketing and communications agency. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and Medium

Recently in:

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comThe Fargo Park District will host the Kids Triathlon on Wednesday, July 9, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. The event will be held at Madison Park and Bicycle Playground, located at 3010 11th Avenue N.…

Back-to-school season is on the horizon, but there's still plenty of summer left. Check out our favorite August attractions and events in North Dakota and western Minnesota. And if if you missed them, here are a few excellent May…

June 21, 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway N., Fargo“We Watch Shudder,” Fargo’s favorite horror podcasters, bring on the darkness during the longest day of the year. The Darkest Day of Horror Film Festival features…

Fighting the good fightBy Sabrina Hornungsabrina@hpr1.com Over two thousand rallies took place nationwide June 14 as part of the “No Kings" protest. Ten of those protests were held in North Dakota, with thousands in attendance.…

By Ed Raymondfargogadfly@gmail.comWhy doesn’t the world require politicians to leave office at 60?Most of the leaders of countries, whether gods, fascists, democrats or socialists, are not doing very well these days. David Van…

By Rick Gionrickgion@gmail.com Holiday wine shopping shouldn’t have to be complicated. But unfortunately it can cause unneeded anxiety due to an overabundance of choices. Don’t fret my friends, we once again have you covered…

By Rick Gionrickgion@gmail.com The weather warmed up quickly here in the upper Midwest this spring, sparking prime eating season. This means burger battles, food trucks and lake-season food travel. The 2025 Downtown Fargo Burger…

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comThe Moorhead Public Library will offer three free, all-ages outdoor concerts featuring regional bands this summer. The series begins on June 12 with the Meat Rabbits, a group that blends…

By Greg Carlsongregcarlson1@gmail.com Filmmaker Matt Wolf, whose lovely “Wild Combination: A Portrait of Arthur Russell” suggests he would be the perfect director to construct the definitive biographical account of the wholly…

By Deb Wallworkdwallwork@icloud.comI first met Catherine Mulligan at a party at her house. It was a small gathering, spontaneous, just a few people over for dinner. Directed toward a stack of plates and bowls and a big pot warming…

North Dakota play about mental health launches Midwest tour in AugustBy Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.com A new one-act play inspired by patients buried in the Old Cemetery at the Jamestown State Hospital will tour festivals in…

By Annie Prafckeannieprafcke@gmail.com AUSTIN, Texas – As a Chinese-American, connecting to my culture through food is essential, and no dish brings me back to my mother’s kitchen quite like hotdish. Yes, you heard me right –…

By Sabrina Hornungsabrina@hpr1.comNew Jamestown Brewery Serves up Local FlavorThere’s something delicious brewing out here on the prairie and it just so happens to be the newest brewery west of the Red River and east of the…

The drug that keeps re-purposing itselfBy Ellie Liveranieli.liverani.ra@gmail.com There is a drug that is getting a lot of attention nowadays all over the world. It has various commercial names (Ozempic, Wegovy and Rybelsus), but…

By Alicia Underlee NelsonProtests against President Trump’s policies and the cuts made by Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) are planned across North Dakota and western Minnesota Friday, April 4 and…

By Vern Thompsonvern.thompson@rocketmail.com Working in the Bakken oil fields of the Williston Basin is so different from my home in Fargo. I'm not judging, because the people working and living in western North Dakota are very…