​A little more conversation

I’ve been spending a considerable amount of time in nursing homes lately. One for my grandmother’s two week rehab after a broken hip and also participating in the North Dakota Council on the Arts Art for life program, which we’ll elaborate on later. This experience has opened my eyes for the better.

Yes, there are negative connotations as far as nursing homes go, such as over medicating, theft, elder abuse etc, but not every nursing home or every experience in a nursing home is negative. On observing on a social level, I found it oddly reminiscent of time spent in a college dorm, but instead of a bunch of young adults making a life transition, elderly adults are making their own life transition, and are rebuilding their own social structures. Some nursing homes even host a happy hour.

Whether some choose to partake in social activities provided by their care facility, others have a tougher time with the transition or don’t have the energy or the physical ability to partake in said activities.

At this time in their lives there is a considerable amount of loneliness and isolation. Whether it be loss of peers, lack of control, hopelessness, inability to do specific tasks or hobbies, or chronic pain/illness. Elder depression is a very real concern.

I’ve been participating in the Art for Life program. It’s a residency program in which artists practice folk art with some of the residents in a nursing home, We are essentially creating a seven foot by seven foot wycinanki (Polish papercutting) tree of life. Each week holds a different theme and we engage them in sharing their life histories. Though, the program isn’t limited to just visual art, music, dance, and food have all been utilized in previous sessions.

We also use the book “Sundogs and Sunflowers” as a tool to aid as food for thought in conversing about our regional folkways and traditions. The book is a compilation of traditions, folkways, anecdotes, and folk art collected throughout the state of North Dakota and was published by the NDCA a few years back.

Not only does this experience generate a multi- generational conversation, it maintains that these folkways don’t become forgotten. The aforementioned life histories also provide both artist and resident to reflect on their own experiences.

Last week we focused on love and marriage. Out of all the folks we interviewed they shrugged off the details of their weddings, the wedding they described were very utilitarian and lifelong (for the most part), now it’s a billion dollar industry and the debt accrued lasts longer than the marriage, but that may be a cynical generalization on the editor’s behalf more than anything. Maybe people needed each other in their generation, or is it that we lost our utilitarian roots and live in a more disposable society?

During the session before that, we elaborated on our ancestral history and learned of pioneer hardships. The most fascinating part is that they witnessed homesteading stories firsthand. Then from their own experiences they spoke of growing up during the Great Depression, and then 10 or so years later awaiting their sweetheart’s return from the second world war. That’s some grit.

They reinforced that the small things really are small things. Will whatever is consuming your life now, be relevant 50 years from now? Maybe, but there will always be potholes along the way. I guess some potholes are bigger than others.

Not only has the experience provided both my papercutting mentor and I the opportunity to make art with the residents, but it also presented the opportunity to create friendships with them. Which is much needed no matter what age you are.

What can be learned from all of this? Talk to your elders, whether it be your grandparents, great or great-great aunts or uncles, or if you have extra time think about volunteering at a nursing home. Collect their stories and ask them to share their wisdom. Cherish the time you share together, because they won’t be around forever.