A new year’s resolution

High Plains Reader will be on vacation for two weeks. We’ll hit the shelves again on Jan. 15. Happy holidays to you all!

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As a child, I was obsessed with sports. In particular, I loved playing basketball. I practiced nearly everyday, alone and outside. In my imagination, as I practiced by myself, I had an opponent and I would absolutely school him or her every which way. I out-dribbled her. I out-scored her. I out-ran her.

I even once said out loud that I would be the first woman in the NBA. Wendy Kohler, my elementary gym teacher who was also the high school women’s basketball coach, even once pulled me aside after class to tell me I’d grow up to be a star on her then state championship team. It was one of the most empowering moments of my childhood -- she was my hero.

Unfortunately for me, as athletic and well practiced as I was, when it came to having a real opponent, I cowered. When it came to performing in front of others, I, more often than not, choked.

And that is why, during basketball practice one day in junior high, a majority of my teammates doubted me during a “pressure free throws” drill.

How so? Well, it’s called pressure free throws because your entire team watches you and if you miss, your teammates must sprint down the court and back.

Though in this particular version of pressure free throws, players could try to predict whether their teammate would make it or not. If you put your foot behind the court line, you think the person will miss. If you put it in front, you think she’ll make it. If you predicted correctly, you didn’t have to run.

I was one of the last players to line up at the free throw line that day, so most of the team was majorly exhausted and had no desire to run. As I positioned to shoot, I scanned the boundary line to check out my teammates’ feet and every single player was positioned for me to miss.

“You are all running,” I then blurted, almost in shock of myself as I finished the sentence.

What happened next? Most of my teammates, including the best players, repositioned their feet.

What happened next? I lined my feet, dribbled the ball couple times and sank the shot. Like a boss.

At the time, I had absolutely no awareness of the extraordinary role that self-confidence played in that whole scenario. But deep down I knew I was fantastic shooter (I’ve once defeated an entire wedding party, men included, at a game of HORSE). And somehow, in that brief moment, I was able to block out the toxic self-doubting chatter that usually filled my head at practice and at games. It was as if, after boldly ensuring my team that they’d run for doubting me, my brain 100-percent blocked me from thinking anything but empowering thoughts.

Why am I telling this story?

Self-doubt is universal and powerful. Everyone will experience it at some (or many) points in their lives. Knowing what it takes to defeat self doubt and knowing how to apply that certain something can result in extraordinary things.

I wasn’t a poor basketball player because I lacked athleticism, coordination and a desire to be great. I had all those things. I was a poor basketball player because of my debilitating self-doubt. It was so incapacitating that it turned a girl who practiced nearly everyday, was one of the fastest runners on the team and was obsessed with the sport – into one of the worst players on the team.

Knowing what I know now -- that all it takes to defeat self doubt is a bit of courage, assertiveness and confidence, like I exuded that day in bball practice -- would I have been a better basketball player as a kid? Better? Absolutely. Without a doubt. Do I accept that this a thing of the past and that it’s something I can learn from? Absolutely. Without a doubt. It’s made me into the great person I am today.

Remember this, if you ever catch yourself in doubt while performing something you know with all your heart that are good at, take a moment to completely disregard anything that tells you otherwise.

What a great New Year’s resolution.

Do you have a story of overcoming self doubt? Let us know about it and perhaps we can share it! My email is diane@hpr1.com.