​Adventures in Eating: Accident Forgiveness

Remember that reality TV series “Boiling Points”? It was a hidden camera show that survived a few season on MTV about a decade ago.

Actors would pretend they were workers in restaurants or other service-industry establishments and they’d test people’s patience essentially by being awful. They’d make people wait, sell them faulty products that they’d deny were faulty, ask odd questions and be irksome in dozens of other ways. If the customers reached their “boiling points” (erupt or leave in a fit of anger) before the designated time limit, they’d lose. If they stayed calm up to the time limit, they’d win $100.

Truly, the show relied on the use of pure absurdity to frustrate everyday people trying to get on with their lives. It’s nothing like we experience in everyday life. Perhaps that’s why it was so entertaining to watch.

I’m reminded of this because of two recent restaurant experiences where I had to wait an annoyingly long time for food. Both times I felt nervous energy boil through my body as I anticipated the awkward exchange I’d have with the employee who messed up my order. I also anticipated sensing the glare of the overhearing, onlooking customers who’d stare at me -- “the victim” of time and hunger.

It’s frustrating to have to wait a long time for food – especially when we are very hungry and very busy. What if we get caught in a moment where the worker messes up our order and has to remake it and we don’t have the time to wait for another five or 10 minutes?

We can A) Leave without food and then be mad and ravenous or B) Stay and be late for/fall behind on work.

Of course there’s option C) Accept the worker’s greatest apologies and get a free dessert or coupon for next time.

Though there will be times when the server messes up or forgets our order and offers no apology (or an extremely weak one), no free dessert or no coupon. Gah! I know I have felt discouraged by this scenario a number of times.

So that of course could lead to option D) Leave a scathing review of the restaurant on Facebook or Yelp. Complain to the manager. Say nasty things about the service to our friends.

OK, now it just sounds like I am shaming shamers.

Option E) Offer polite, but constructive criticism. Restaurant owners and employees, after all, should have consequences for their poor service.

Then there’s option F) Accident forgiveness. It’s kind of like having Allstate Insurance, right? It’s the option to recognize that the workers are under stress, made a complete accident and were in no way intentionally trying to waste our time or un-satisfy our hunger.

Of course, that is the most happy and deferential option that won’t leave us feeling resentful when we leave the business. It’s also the most logical.

Option E may be a logical choice. However, is it really that logical if you’ve only visited the restaurant once? Are you really an expert on its food and service at this point?

I eat out too much – sometimes three meals in one day. Perhaps that’s an absurd waste of money for a person living on a low budget. I can’t help it. I love spending money on coffee and restaurants, especially when I enjoy the food and company – of mostly strangers. I eat out with friends but I also go out by myself often. I get crazy amount of fulfillment from my public outings and part of it is because I don’t sweat too hard over the inevitable misplaced olive (I absolutely hate olives) or undercooked veggie burger (I don’t eat meat).

Having great service is an incredible bonus. Though having no-so-great service comes with the territory of eating out. It will happen again and again in future to every single one of us. Plan accordingly.