Love always makes a difference

A million times thank you to the Fargo-Moorhead community

Throughout my three and a half years of being a leader in local media, I’ve gone from thinking “I’m HPR’s best editor ever” to thinking “How on all crevices of the earth would anyone have ever considered me to be an editor?” I didn’t even know how to spell the word spelled. I thought it was spelt.

I could go on. Growing up, I was a fabulous gym-class student but just an OK English student. I had no journalism experience pre-HPR. I’m forgetful ...

What has allowed me to become editor of a 20-year-old newspaper?

I can say that working for HPR has been perhaps the greatest and most rewarding responsibility I’ve ever been given -- especially during a time when Fargo is thriving. I’ve interviewed and connected with influential community members, notorious musicians, LGBT filmmakers, unlikeable politicians and Golden Globe-winning TV show writers. At least to a degree, I’ve helped influence Fargo’s creative culture through writing and music.

So the Saturday after I gave a TED talk at the Fargo Civic Center, I got the uncontrollable urge to weep. I wept so, so hard. Why? Because never in my life had I ever felt so overwhelmingly loved and appreciated.

It wasn’t all from the TED talk, obviously -- though that experience was one I’ll forever remember and cherish. It was after a really great gig at Dempseys. After a really nice radio interview with Jack and Amy on KFGO. An extra special chat I had with someone I ran into randomly. A carefree night out with a group of friends. It’s all these special things piling up in the most overwhelmingly positive way. And that Saturday it hit me so hard.

I am leaving Fargo the happiest and most fulfilled I’ve ever been in my life. Happiness and fulfillment are two things I seek on a constant basis. I of course do it for myself, but even more so I strive to be my very best because I am absolutely nuts for people. Making people happy has brought me some of the greatest joy of my life.

Of course this has brought me crazy heartache at times. Remember when I published a list of “Fargo’s Guitar Heroes” and inadvertently left a bunch of incredible veteran local guitarists out? The backlash was overwhelming -- and called for. It was one of the most stressful times in my life.

I guess what I am saying is, above all, I’ve been able to perform well as editor of HPR because of my love for people, especially those who do and see things differently. HPR very much has always been a paper that cherishes community and cherishes differences. Whether it’s related to opinion, music or wellness, HPR pushes for “the difference” in order to make a difference.

A loving, whole-hearted thank you to ...

The HPR crew, especially John, Raul, Jana, Chris, J and Bryce (formerly of HPR), for believing in me. For taking a chance on me and for appreciating me and my unique skill sets. For the wonderful memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I appreciate you all so flipping much.

My family. My parents, Mark and Emy, come out to just about all my shows and wholeheartedly appreciate my music, my bandmates and my job. My sister, Kate, is the same way. She’ll excitedly tell me about how much she loves an original song of mine. Their support, love and kindness has been instrumental to any success I’ve ever had in my life.

My fiance, Tom. He was big in the Fargo music scene before I ever played a show downtown. He introduced me to nearly every person I play music with today. He’s one of the hardest working, most talented and loving people I’ve ever met in my life.

My bandmates. Some of my favorite moments in life are ones I’ve shared with these fine musicians who also happen to be some of my favorite people on the planet.

The Fargo-Moorhead community. I love this town. It seems strange to say that as I am preparing to move to Minneapolis. However, I’ll be back all the time. Thank you to anyone I’ve ever interviewed, anyone who’s ever come out to my shows, anyone who’s ever served me beer, coffee or food, anyone who’s ever ran a soundboard for me or hired my band for a gig -- the list goes on.

It’s weird to think I’ve become such a party-loving socialite. I used to be extremely shy. I used to get picked on very regularly. I used to have little self esteem. And much of it was because I felt different and unaccepted. When I was a kid I dressed like a boy and obsessed over rap music and sports.

Today, I am comfortable in my skin. I am happy, not only because I feel loved and accepted for who I am, but because I love and accept myself for who I am. I am not perfect. But I accept it rather than fight it.

Always remember to sincerely express your love and appreciation for the people around you as often as possible. It can make all the difference. I am living proof of it. I’m awesome. And I’m in no damn way ashamed of saying that.