​Can January get worse? Yes it can

We are all going to die. That’s a fact too many people ignore until we get stark reminders of it. I don’t want to get too depressing in my first column for HPR, but it’s something that has been on the minds of quite a few of us lately with a mighty grim January filled with extreme cold and celebrity deaths.

I’ve seen two mindsets expressed following the notable recent deaths of legends such as Lemmy Kilmister, David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Glenn Frey. One shock that so many deaths have happened in a short amount of time and when it will it end? Here’s the sad truth, it will never end. Rock and roll is getting old.

These legends which many thought were immortal and have been alive for most of our lives are dying and will continue to die for the rest of our lives. I saw a list of aging rockers still living and it’s long and filled with many who have had prolific careers who will no doubt bring shocks when they pass. But we need these jolts as reminders that we too are going to die, that no, we are not immortal either. Too many of us go along in the monotony of day to day life and forget that someday, we too will leave this earth.

The message we should get is what do we want to do before we get to death? How do we want to spend it? We all waste too much time in our precious lives and forget that nothing is owed to us. Certainly not tomorrow no matter what age we are.

A second sentiment I heard expressed is why do people only care about death when it’s somebody famous? That’s not exactly true. I think when it’s people of enormous talent who have made a tremendous impact and contributed greatly in their lives pass, people stop, take note and pause as they should. There will never be another David Bowie, he is someone who didn’t compromise up until the day of his death and taught many what it is to be a true artist. His impact will be felt for years and he is not someone who will ever be replaced. He is also someone who many thought wrongly will never die. Cancer can get anyone -- even someone like David Bowie.

My Dad used to talk about something called the velvet hammer. It’s when you are going along in life, things are going well and boom something happens to bring you back to reality where you are a little more grounded. We shouldn’t get too far from the reality that we are not mortal. It’s not healthy. And that velvet hammer no doubt hit David Bowie’s family and all his fans.

I think when someone you respect and admire dies, this grounding happens even if it’s a celebrity. It is a fact that many of those celebrities give us escapes throughout our lives which help us cope during the rough times of life. I don’t know where I’d be without music in my life and some of my favorite musicians.

Losing a parent is another time when this happens. We grow up believing our parents are larger than life and will live forever. They’ve always been there and when they are gone forever, it is a very tough reality to face. It is one of the toughest things I have ever had to cope with. But the fact is, we aren’t owed anything. We could go at any time and there are no guarantees.

I was fortunate enough to have a long time with my father but I have friends who have spent most of their adult lives without one or both of their parents. It still doesn’t make my loss any easier, it’s just a reminder of what we have to deal with and how it could happen at any point in someone’s life.

Point of this all being, all of these times are moments when you take pause of where you are, where you are going as well as who and what are most important. I don’t think it’s shocking or stupid that it happens with celebrity deaths. I think it’s human nature. We are going to forget and we are going to be reminded of mortality. I am just as guilty as anyone else. People who have made an impact on your life in one way or the other going back to your childhood are going to leave you forever. What you do when that happens and how you handle it are most important.