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​Omelet or Wings?

Gadfly | December 15th, 2022

By Ed Raymond

What Is Abortion Really About? Religion, Science, Economics, Politics

In a recent cartoon, God is perched on a beautiful cloud and is looking down at a chicken and an egg ready to cross a road. The caption is: “Remember, you must both leave at the same time!”

Is God attempting to answer the question of which came first which has bedeviled, stupefied, and perplexed Homo sapiens since they created thousands of gods? Scientists have determined at this point of our evolutionary planet that eggs are about 348 million years old, but chickens are spring-like at 65,000 years old. Further study may prove this is not a revelation.

As abortion is a major issue on the planet because of religion, science, economics, and politics, we need a revelation that will give us a final judgement. As Christians seem to be mightily confused about abortion – not mentioned in the Bible, I thought of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse who ride in Revelation 6. The first rides a white horse like a king or ruler, carries a bow, and spreads pestilence through the lands. The second is on a blood-red horse and creates civil war, conflict, and strife wherever he goes. The third rider, symbolizing famine, carries the scales of justice on a black horse. The last rider is on a pale horse called Death and is accompanied by Hades, a fierce, always-right Greek god.

Perhaps we could settle the abortion issue if we have four riders and animals symbolize the four major abortion discussions of the day. Let’s have a Catholic pope or bishop ride an extinct wooly mammoth preaching bewitching sermons on 16th Century souls while banishing unbaptized babies to Limbo instead of entrance to Heaven.

Marjorie-Taylor Greene is on a Trumplican rogue elephant armed with a modified automatic AR-15, spouting crazy stuff about Nancy Pelosi, Jewish laser beams, and pro-life QAnon conspiracy theories.

The third rider is a ten-year-old Ohio rape victim who had to travel to Indiana for an abortion on a democratic donkey which was a distant relative of the one Christ rode to the Mount of Olives.

The fourth rider is West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin on a zebra. He drives other Democrats nuts on any subject. If they believe, as an example, a zebra is white on black, he will insist that his zebras are black on white. He will forever be responsible for millions of children returning to poverty after they had experienced middle-class meals. Remember, he alone refused to vote for renewal of the Children’s Tax Credit.

Science in This Century Proves Abortion Is an Economic Issue, Not a Religious One

When population experts estimated 100 billion humans have lived and died on earth, they didn’t say it would have taken 130 billion pregnancies to produce the living. Somewhere on earth there are cells, blood, flesh, miscarriage remnants, body parts, and other evidence of spontaneous abortions of 30 billion Homo sapiens.

Today, the United Nation’s research on the availability of contraceptives in the world reveals there are 257 million who have no access to contraceptives, half of pregnancies are unplanned, and fully one fourth cannot refuse to have sex or they could be “legally” killed by mates.

Why is the world in such a mess about sex? Islamic Indonesia just banned sex out of marriage. Now we have at least three Talibans: Afghan, Indonesian, and American. An ignorant Trinity of popes, priests, imans, and politicians (PPIP) diddling around with sexual drives of Homo sapiens and other animals created this mess. They still don’t realize that a male elk bellowing his annual invitations to rut in the fall is hunted by Homo sapiens males bellowing for sex 365 days a year.

Twenty years ago I wrote: “Catholic popes and theologians have been bedeviled, dazzled, and confused by sex for 2,000 years.” It is stupefying that the Vatican came up with the rules of celibacy for bellowing priests more than a thousand years ago. Sexual abuse has now cost dioceses billions in reparation and retribution. Many dioceses have been forced into bankruptcy because of sexual abuse and casual sex by the frocked.

The Vatican came up with all kinds of rules about marriage, divorce, and annulments. What’s the current price for an annulment? Twenty-five years ago an annulment cost a friend $5,000. What does an annulment run today? Pope Francis murmured the word “divorce” last year when he asked bishops to study the issue.

Jesus Christ seemed to like women because he was born of one, and probably spent as much time with them as he did men. The Vatican has managed to keep women subordinate for 2,000 years, claiming “Christ did not pick one as an apostle.” What a flimsy excuse.

When Speaker Nancy Pelosi visited the Vatican and Pope Francis recently, pro-choice Nancy was sneaked a communion wafer by somebody. Might have been one of the gay priests working there.

Is the Vatican so dumb it has not figured out the relationship of contraceptives to the number of abortions? I have never had a local bishop answer the question. Does it want Catholics to limit sex to reproduction? Good luck with that. I guess it wants all married couples to play Vatican Roulette. Did God explain the plan to Adam and Eve? That’s like having one bullet in a two-bullet magazine.

I wonder how many Catholic couples have paid $995 to the Mile High Club so they could brag about having sex in a plane at 5,000 feet—or more. I’ll get to abortion later.

If You Have Them, Fly to Portugal and Check Out Saint Gonçalo

For centuries popes and the Vatican have been exposed to Michelangelo, Leonardo DaVinci, and hundreds of gay priests toiling away on domes, ceilings, libraries, and in confessionals. It still declares that gays are “intrinsically disordered.” Disordered about what? Sex? Who isn’t?

Genetic scientists have come up with a list of 106 different homosexual types so far, ranging from “asexual” to “bisexual” (no sex to sex with both males and females). That’s called gender fluidity.

Roman Catholics around the world have threatened to form their own churches so they can include LBGTQ+ communities. Pope Benedict’s Germany has been most insistent. Maybe like Galileo, gays will be accepted by the Vatican after 400 years.

Protestant churches are having the same problem in spades. The United Methodist Church is not united. Since 2019, 1,314 churches have left the conservative organization—and 439 in Texas alone are voting this year on leaving and establishing churches that recognize and accept the LBGTQ+ community. The most recent Gallup poll reveals more than 70% of Americans approve of same-sex marriage. In 1996 it was 27%.

The times they are a’changin’. Georgia Senator Warnock’s mother picked cotton and tobacco sharecropping during Jim Crow II days. Last week she marked a ballot to help elect him senator in purple Georgia.

Before I get to the fact that abortion is an economic and medical issue, not a religious one, I want to inform you that the Vatican has done us all a service by naming a saint if you have hemorrhoids. You may fly to Portugal and stand before a statue of Saint Gonçalo in Murtosa and bare your behind. Locals say an instant cure is a sure thing. If you have faith, acne on the other end will also disappear!

Are Fetuses Really Knit by God in the Womb and “Wonderfully Made?”

A local pro-life Catholic deacon, who is often seen protesting at the local abortion clinic, wrote the following about fetuses: “For God knit me together in my mother’s womb fearfully and wonderfully made.” I don’t get the “fearfully made” part, but if a god designed the fetus, he missed a lot of stuff and science, such as the amount of testosterone and estrogen allotted.

Would a perfect Catholic God allow a homosexual to pass through the birth canal? That’s another column.

The New England Journal of Medicine says approximately 30% of recognized pregnancies end in miscarriages. Notice the word “recognized.” Some do not recognize they’re pregnant and have a miscarriage.

Before we got into the modern era, Catholics knew long ago that Homo sapiens were not “intelligently designed.” Remember the days when theologians said that only God was smart enough to make a clock or pocket watch?

Between 1703 and 1730, Roman Catholics in Amsterdam could visit a four-story “museum” of human body parts collected by Frederik Ruysch. His collections are covered in a book by Joanna Eberstein titled Frederik Ruysch and his Thesaurus Anatomicus: A Morbid Guide. Ruysch convinced the city’s surgeons and midwives to give him their failures, unusual features of their business, and bodies and parts. His first floor was reserved for humans, fetuses, and body parts and failures of each. He displayed whole bodies of fetuses on beds of kidney and gallstones he collected.

He did have a sense of humor. The complete body of a fetus wiped eyes with a small handkerchief. Another cradled a mayfly in its hands. Another held a bone in its hand with the caption: “Ah, fate! Ah, bitter fate!” His displays contained stillborn babies, conjoined twins, and other unusual results of pregnancies, particularly fetuses without arms, legs, or with both sets of genitalia. Visitors could inspect reproductive parts contained in bottles in a clear liquid. His “wet” bottles held heads that had been dissected or complete heads that stared directly at the viewer. Some heads have blushing cheeks and red lips. Many of these jars survive because the liquid he used still protects tissues.

Frederik Ruysch’s displays emphasize the dangers and complexities of the birthing process. They leave no doubt we have to keep theologians and politicians from making political deals about reproduction. Abortion is all about economics.

Who Gets Abortions?

Over 90% of the persons looking for an abortion are low-come, unmarried, already a mother with child or children, attended some college, or is a young person in her first six weeks of pregnancy having her first abortion, lives in a blue state, and knows she is not ready for the responsibility of raising a child that will presently take $311,000 to raise to age 18.

Religion doesn’t seem to have meaning when it comes to sex. Catholics have abortions at the same rate as persons affiliated with other religions or denominations or those who are atheists or agnostics. As Shakespeare wrote, no one has ever returned from Heaven or Hell to give us the real scoop.

I have been listening to Catholic and Protestant sermons for 83 of my 90 years above grass and could still play Doubting Thomas without regret. Of course, life begins at conception, but about 30% of those lives do not make it to blue skies. Life ends in miscarriages, accidents, medical deformities, and syndromes that science has not been able to handle yet.

Remember: in Brave New World, babies were raised by strict protocols in bottles with varying amounts of oxygen. Humans who had babies were deported. Thoughts and prayers in pregnancies are as effective as thoughts and prayers in controlling our gun culture.



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