Tracker Pixel for Entry

How to Maintain Hope in Difficult Times

Last Word | November 23rd, 2024

By Faye Seidler

fayeseidler@gmail.com

My name is Faye Seidler and I’m a suicide prevention advocate and a champion of hope. I think it is fair to say that we’ve been living through difficult times and it may be especially challenging to see the way forward today. But I want to assure people there is still a way forward, there is still hope, and we can still leave a better world for both our kids and theirs.

I understand that without context, the weight of those words means pretty little. To clarify, I’m a two time suicide survivor, I had a difficult childhood and an even worse time navigating life as a young adult. I was failed by every system that was supposed to be designed to help me. I’ve experienced homelessness, I’ve lived on five pound bags of potatoes, and I’m transgender. I’m not a stranger to life being tough.

So, how do I maintain hope, given the weight of the world today? First and most importantly, we are still alive.

Maybe not in an hour, next week, or next year, but every day we are here matters. Every day we have agency in making the world something better. Today is never going to be forever and the struggles of today are not insurmountable problems. All of human history has been ebbs and flows of societies doing their best to manage and our duty today is to simply manage the best we can.

We don’t need to carry the weight of the future on our shoulders, we just need to carry the weight of tomorrow. Make it one more day forward. Take stock of the things that still give hope, even if it’s hard. I don’t mean find some blind optimism or forced positivity, I mean give respect to the things in one’s life that really center them. Often this is friends, family, or the parts of someone’s life they’re proud about.

Hope needs to be practiced, because it stops our brain from doom spiraling. It gives us resiliency against despair. And it centers us away from the kind of fear that sets us up to fail. When a person has centered their hope, when they can find tomorrow, the next thing is to find community.

Our world has gotten extremely partisan. We’ve gotten inflexible and intolerant towards each other in ways that do terrify me. When I think about and encourage community, I’m not thinking about a person’s chosen ingroup. I’m thinking about neighborhoods, schools and city hall. I think about getting invested in the places we live, to work towards and share public spaces like parks, to volunteer with local causes.

The way of the world or our national government is something none of us have much say in. We, however, have so much stake in our own communities. We can build them into places where we support each other. And when we do this, we can feel that much more connected, safe and hopeful for the future we built here for ourselves and our kids.

I get that the world hasn’t been fair to a lot of folks, myself included. When I suggest some effort for common charity and cause, often people sneer. Lots of us have lived our life with nobody helping us or sticking their neck out for us, so why should we? And the actual point of investing in a community that someone never felt invested in, is to take back a future that they were denied. It is to break the cycles we all hate and give a real chance to the kind of communities and connections we used to embrace.

I’m in my thirties. It’s a weird age where most kids think I’m ancient and most elders are thrilled to see someone else carrying the work forward into the next generation. What I can promise is that I will work on everything I’ve outlined here for my life. My work in suicide prevention is ultimately connecting people to hope, community, and a genuine belief the world can get better. And it isn’t despite everything I know that I have hope, it is because of what I know.

There are truly incredible people in our communities. Doctors, educators, parents, and volunteer advocates who fight tooth and nail for a better tomorrow. Not a few: hundreds. We have the capacity to sort out our struggles, to survive hardship and to see kids smile. We are not fundamentally that different as people, no matter a person’s politics or background.

If someone needs to survive right now, work on surviving. If someone is doing okay, look at who needs help. If anyone needs to know there are people who haven’t lost hope, who keep working towards the future, I will never give up.

Faye Seidler is a suicide prevention advocate who focuses on LGBTQ+ data and outcomes. Reach her at fayeseidlerconsulting.com.Harbor Health Initiative offers specialized resources for the LGBTQ+ community at harborhealthinitiative.org/. Call 988 to reach The Suicide And Crisis Lifelife.

Recently in:

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comNorth Dakota communities will join a “nationwide day of defiance” against authoritarianism and President Donald Trump’s policies on Saturday, June 14. A range of "No Kings" events…

From concerts and car shows to Japanese art and Juneteenth celebrations, there's so much going on around the region this summer. This year's High Plains Reader Summer Events Calendar is back and bigger than ever. It's packed with…

June 21, 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway N., Fargo“We Watch Shudder,” Fargo’s favorite horror podcasters, bring on the darkness during the longest day of the year. The Darkest Day of Horror Film Festival features…

By John Strandjas@hpr1.com One description that perhaps aptly describes the mental state of many lately is that they feel they are attached to a string. Or several strings. Call it the notion that people are played like puppets,…

By Ed Raymondfargogadfly@gmail.comThe Fiddler on the roof was taking a big chance after two thousand years of hate Cal Thomas, who seems to hate a lot in a journalistic and broadcasting career where he expresses his conservative…

By Rick Gionrickgion@gmail.com Holiday wine shopping shouldn’t have to be complicated. But unfortunately it can cause unneeded anxiety due to an overabundance of choices. Don’t fret my friends, we once again have you covered…

By Rick Gionrickgion@gmail.com After a very inspiring conversation with Kayla Houchin of Sonder Bakehouse a few weeks ago, I decided that it’s an appropriate time to write a column about some of the sweet people who are involved…

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comThe Moorhead Public Library will offer three free, all-ages outdoor concerts featuring regional bands this summer. The series begins on June 12 with the Meat Rabbits, a group that blends…

By Greg Carlsongregcarlson1@gmail.com Wes Anderson’s twelfth full-length feature, “The Phoenician Scheme,” sees the idiosyncratic auteur pull back from the elaborate storytelling scaffolding and structures of “The Grand…

By Raul Gomezraul@hpr1.com Minutes before Modern’s Celebration of Life opened its door at the Sons of Norway, I was fiddling with the bar computer, trying to pull up the playlists of Modern’s work I had set aside for the…

By Alicia Underlee Nelsonalicia@hpr1.comAct Up Theatre, in partnership with Minnesota State University Moorhead, will present “The Sound of Music” on June 10-14. All shows are at 7:30 p.m. at the Minnesota State Moorhead’s…

By Annie Prafckeannieprafcke@gmail.com AUSTIN, Texas – As a Chinese-American, connecting to my culture through food is essential, and no dish brings me back to my mother’s kitchen quite like hotdish. Yes, you heard me right –…

By Sabrina Hornungsabrina@hpr1.comNew Jamestown Brewery Serves up Local FlavorThere’s something delicious brewing out here on the prairie and it just so happens to be the newest brewery west of the Red River and east of the…

By Ellie Liveranieli.liverani.ra@gmail.com There appear to be differences in the incidence of mental illnesses between men and women. For example, women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression, post-traumatic stress…

By Alicia Underlee NelsonProtests against President Trump’s policies and the cuts made by Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) are planned across North Dakota and western Minnesota Friday, April 4 and…

By Vern Thompsonvern.thompson.nd7@gmail.com Our trucking business has me driving almost daily from gas plants in western North Dakota's oil patch to Canada. I haul natural gas liquids (NGLs) products we used to see flared off at…