​Video games: a transgender perspective

Video games have always been a large part of my life. I can still remember when I was about six years old, picking up a Nintendo controller and playing Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers at my grandma’s house. I was fascinated with the ability to control an avatar and captivated by the difficulty of the game.

As I grew up, I started to appreciate games for more than the difficulty and challenge to overcome tough odds. I appreciated them for the escape it allowed me, because I was able to immerse myself in so many beautiful worlds.

I was able to work hard at something, grow stronger, and defeat some adversary that taunted me the whole game. I was able to engage in puzzles and wrack my brain on how to solve them. More than that, I was able to learn the values of accomplishing something through hard work, taking on vast projects by breaking them down into parts, and challenging myself to try harder or be better.

The value of video games is in the immersion, because the player is not just passively engaging in the medium as with books or movies, but rather actively and directly experiencing the story. Reading about a hero's defeat can evoke despair in a reader, but in a video game it is so much more, because the defeat happens to the player.

When I moved into adulthood, games became even more important, because they allowed me to explore my gender in a safe way. The thing is, it is rare for a trans person to just unquestionably know their gender identity. Most of us have to question it, have to spend time rejecting the labels and socialization imposed on us. We have to deeply explore ourselves, question our doubts, and come to terms with the reality of our identities.

The first time I really presented as female was in World of Warcraft, as a female character. The benefit was that I could be completely accepted as female as the default there, I could effectively pretend to be a cisgender women and see how that felt for me. I didn’t know at the time how it would feel, but the first time someone referred to me as she was one of the best days of my early transition. It was so incredibly validating and felt so affirming on an emotional level.

Unfortunately, it was something I could only find in a game that allows custom characters. Because, for the most part, transgender individuals rarely exist in gaming worlds and when they do it is often as one-note characters or stereotypical portrayals. Sure, I could create an avatar that looked like myself and represented who I was, but I never got a fully flushed out, complex trans character to show me who I could be.

My life could have been much different if, when I were younger, I played a video game featuring a transgender main character dealing with dysphoria in addition to their quest. The beauty of gaming is that it allows you to experience different perspectives. If I were a cisgender individual playing that game, I would’ve maybe understood the trans experience better; but if trans, I may have had my first glimpse into the possibility that I was different.

Even if I weren’t trans, I’d really like to see transgender individuals featured in a few video games, especially story-focused ones. The reason is simply novelty. We have seen protagonists of every age and race, experienced queer relationships with Mass Effect, critiqued philosophical worldviews with Bioshock, but nothing heavily featuring gender identity. I don’t want more trans individuals because of identity politics, I want it because it is a new direction, with huge potential for interesting character development.

That said, I do think video games are heading in the direction of trans inclusion, if not the ones produced by major companies, then in the world of independent game developers and artists.

As it stands, games like The Sims and Saint’s Row have developed really inclusive gender options, for individuals to create characters they can see themselves in. The current high-water mark for representation of an actual trans character is Dragon Age: Inquisition from a few years ago, which features a trans man named Krem, who is a fleshed-out side character. We’ve never come closer than that to a transgender protagonist.

Regardless, I love videogames as an art. I love the stories, immersion, challenge, and accomplishment associated with them. Video games are always going to be a big part of my life and I hope someday I’ll be part of theirs.

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[editor’s note: Faye Seidler is the North Dakota Safe Zone Project Spokeswoman]