​One bad little sister: Patricia McCoy in her own words

By Meg Luther Lindholm
meglutherlindholm@gmail.com

Patricia McCoy would say that her life journey has taken her to hell and back. She has survived experiences that would kill many, including drugs, five prison terms, and attempts by others to rob her of her life. She grew up in Chicago and Milwaukee, where life was a battleground and toughness and survival went hand in hand. Initially she had hopes for escaping the hardscrabble life she inherited. She worked hard to win a college basketball scholarship, but her first pregnancy when she was 17 put an end to that dream. It seemed like her life went down from there and she couldn’t climb back up.

Especially after drugs took over.

“I was a dealer, a carrier and a user. Once I got caught up in that drug world, I liked it so much. I forgot about me, my family and my kids. I made really bad decisions out there in the streets. In 1991 I was shot in my back in a Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was a robbery and I happened to be high on drugs at the time when I went into the franchise. I realized that I knew the people who were robbing the place. They shot me in the back because they knew I could identify them.

“I have drug crimes. I have prostitution-related crimes. Fighting crimes. I used to pimp women. I just made really bad choices in my life. Unfortunately, I had five stays in the penitentiary. The first couple of times it was like college camp. They would allow men to come to the women’s prison and we would play basketball, football or baseball. They let us have dances. But the third time it was stricter. They made it strictly about doing your time.

“I was a master in the kitchen. I worked in the kitchen every [prison] stay. October 22 of 1997, the week after my mother died, I went to work in the kitchen and I had a young lady. We were in a relationship, but after losing my mother I had decided that I just didn’t need to be bothered by nobody. She went to work in the kitchen at 4 o’clock in the morning. She went to the coffee pot, filled up a mop bucket with scalding hot water and threw it on me. Once again, I’m fighting for my life because I had such an infection from this. [When] I got out of the prison I had intentions of being stronger. And I fell back down into that trap again."

“It was the last trip I did, the fifth time, that I realized that my way wasn’t working anymore and that I really needed help. I was in denial all those years. All I wanted to do was make money. And if it was fast it was better, you know. Not thinking all this time like I’m really hurting my kids. I’m hurting my mother, I’m hurting my father, my sisters and brothers. Once you get caught up in that world it’s a mind-altering situation. It’s nothing where I can simply say today I’m going to stop.

“And so I decided that I couldn’t do it no more. So, I went to treatment for a whole year. And my only son was going to school here at Moorhead State University. Somehow, he got wind that I will be getting out of the treatment center. And upon my release I opened the door to my son which I thank God for today because I really believe if had he not been there I wouldn’t be here today.

“He took me as is with the clothes on my back and moved me here to Moorhead, Minnesota. He had a job set up for me. I heard about the YWCA and I was able to get in there. And they helped me. They let me work and I was able to save money to get my own place. And once I got connected with them I got connected with Southeast Human Services for depression. And I went to treatment there for another year and a half because I was still scared. Even though I didn’t know people here, I knew drugs were here.

“I worked two jobs, so I didn’t have time for nothing but sleep. And that’s how I was able to make it to this point in my life. But there are struggles because I didn’t realize that the choices I made in life damaged my children. I have six kids, five girls and one boy. So, I’m trying to make amends to them. I can’t change or take back all the hurt that they have endured. But God blessed me. All my kids are doing really well. They’re not in jail. All six of my children have college degrees.

“Now those kids are grown. They can express their anger and their hurt. And you have to sit there, and you have to endure this because you caused that problem.

“Just last night I was going to the store and I see this young lady out there drunk all the time. And I pulled her to the side and I let her know that baby there’s hope. But you got to want to do it. I’m not asking you to do for me. I’m asking you to do it if you have kids. Most of all do it for yourself. Because you’re a beautiful young lady and you don’t deserve to be mistreated this way. She just hugged me.

“I hope she would take the time and think about it and just give herself that one tiny bit of hope. Once you show people that you really want something in life and they feel that sincerity, they help you.

“Like I say it was a struggle for me too. My life was so not easy but the choices that I have now is because I chose to put the past behind me and try to live for the future. And I know if I could do it anybody could do it because I was bad. I was one bad little sister.”