An open letter to survivors: we see you, we support you, and you are not alone

Letters to the Editor | May 15th, 2025

To victims and survivors across North Dakota,

As the news reveals more about Ray Holmberg’s decades-long abuse and exploitation of men and boys, we — the undersigned advocacy and service organizations for survivors of sexual and domestic violence, child abuse, neglect and human trafficking — want to speak directly to you.

We know this is a difficult time. The graphic details emerging through the news cycle, social media and local discussions have created a wave of renewed pain and trauma for many. If you are feeling triggered, anxious, angry, heartbroken — or simply numb — you are not alone. These are normal reactions to traumatic events and you do not need to walk through this alone.

For many survivors, hearing stories about violence and abuse can reopen old wounds or create new ones. It can feel as if your own experience is being dragged back into the light, without your consent. We want you to know: Your reaction is valid. Your experience is valid. Your pain is real. And your story matters.

You are not responsible for what happened to you. You are not defined by the choices of the person who hurt you. What someone did to you does not diminish your worth. You deserve safety, dignity, and love in every relationship you have — always.

If the headlines have felt like too much, it’s okay to step away. Turn off the news, unfollow triggering content and log off social media if you need to. Taking a break is not avoidance; it is an act of self-preservation. Protecting your mental and emotional health is a powerful and necessary form of self-care.

Speaking of care — know that help is available across our state. There are advocates, counselors and therapists trained in trauma-informed care who are ready to listen without judgment and support your healing journey. Whether what happened to you occurred last week or decades ago, whether you’ve told your story before or never shared it with anyone — you matter. And we are here for you.

If you're not ready to reach out to a professional, consider talking with someone you trust. Conversations with supportive people — friends, family, community members — can be a great way to de-stress and work through what you’re feeling. And if someone you speak to isn’t able to offer you the care or understanding you need, it’s okay to set boundaries. You deserve to feel safe and supported in your relationships.

Finally, we want you to know you are not forgotten. Our organizations exist because we believe in a better world for you. We fight every day to end the cycles of violence and exploitation that have caused so much harm. We advocate for justice, for change, and for compassion — not just in times of crisis, but every day. And we will keep showing up, because your life and your healing are worth fighting for.

In solidarity,

31:8 Project

Central Dakota Forensic Nurse Examiners

Children’s Advocacy Centers of North Dakota

North Dakota Domestic & Sexual Violence Coalition

Youthworks of North Dakota